Tova’s Muchness Challenge – Day 25- It’s Not a Headshot!!!

Y’all know what my face looks like already. Today- no headshot. It’s something else I wanted to share with you.

I bought a groupon for some laser hair removal! I know! That is exactly what you were expecting to hear, right?!? I can see that bewildered look on your face… And now you’re wondering if I’m gonna do a 30 day laser hair removal challenge. Rest easy my friend, I will not.

I likely would not have thought about going for Laser Hair removal but I bought the groupon cuz it was a good deal, and the thought of never shaving my armpits again also seemed like a good deal. So today I went.

Turns out, the laser hair removal doctors office was in the very same building as the grief counselor I saw after I lost the twins. I didn’t see her for very long, since I found that, for me, sharing my feelings with other baby loss moms online was really the best therapy, but the few times I saw her were definitely helpful. Just having a place to say some of the things I needed to say out loud, being able to spill my guts to a stranger and not feel judged or like it made them uncomfortable to hear someone talk about their dead babies was incredibly helpful. She also left me with some insights that have stayed with me- particularly the concept of shadow sadness that can follow you, popping up when you don’t necessarily consciously expect it, just casting it’s darkness over you. ¬†Recognizing it when it arrives has, so many times, helped me move through it without getting too buried underneath it.

Anyway, I’ve thought a few times about reaching out to her and sharing this community with her, but honestly, I didn’t think I’d actually ever do it.

But there I was, underarms burning like a mofo, I sat on the stairs and wrote her a note and included my hot-off-the-printing-press business card.

I slid the note through the mailbox of her darkened office, and I assume she’ll get it sometime tomorrow… and then visit the site…. and then read what I am writing… now… as I write it… so…. Hey Dr. K! :-)

Love & Muchness, Tova


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