I discovered something about myself today. I went back to that job that is dreary and gray and I came with a new attitude.
I taped my postcard above my computer and took the two rocks I brought home from Sunshine and Daisy’s grave and put them below that, and then I decided to shine my Muchness into the hallways of this J.O.B. Perspective is everything.
At lunch I went to go sit outside in the prison yard and there were some other employees out there. One was a guy who said he used to paint art and had gallery shows but he gave that up when he started having kids, and he took this job in the grayness and dreariness of Armpit, NJ. He said – in a tone that was clearly sincere but marked with sarcasm – that he felt as though he was rotting from the inside out.
I was like “NO!!!! No you CANNOT rot from the inside out!!! Please, please do not do that to yourself…. that makes me so sad for you!! I want to help!!!!” …and I meant it.
I have spent the last 6 months – the months I took to Build The Muchness – and spent it behind my computer screen. That is awesome because I love connecting with people online, but it also left me without the face-t0-face time and conversations that truly help me see where my energy is needed. This guy- oy. He was so drained of Muchness. I just wanted run over to him and sprinkle pixie dust on his head to awaken the muchness monster inside him.
I think he will be my project. All of them. I am still not 100% sure I will be taking this job. I don’t know if it’s what I am supposed to do to help me create income while I continue to share The Muchness, or if it was brought to my life to serve as a wake-up call about what The Muchness is truly meant to be about.
If you are reading this and can relate to that guy, that person that says “Oh, I used to……. but now I just…… because I have to. I’ll refind that part of me later.” I IMPLORE you to go out and but yourself a present- something sparkly, something bright and beautiful and vivid and wild that you LOVE that breaks the sound barrier of gray that surrounds you. Take one little step to push through that fog. Please, please, pretty please do not sit there and say “later, I’ll do that.” NOW. IS. LATER.
I wore these shoes today. First time since last fall. These are my absolute favorite shoes for a whole bunch of reasons. But the #1 reason?? Because they make other people smile. Ya know how good it feels to make other people smile just by walking into a place wearing absurd shoes? It feels damn good. Good enough to have you contemplating taking a job at the grayest place on earth.
Maybe I have been sent where I am needed….