The 30 Day Challenge- Reinforce the happy!!

Over the last 8 months, since I started The Muchness Movement, I’ve had a lot of conversations about The Muchness. A lot. Many in person and a lot online, through email, and even via text message. One thing I get asked a lot is “What should I do for a ‘theme’ of my challenge?”

Now, I can’t just tell you what to do. Muchness is different for everyone and, well, I don’t know you. But I think, in some ways, I’ve helped some of the previous challengers know themselves. I’ve been going through my mind (and email) to collect some of the inspiration I’ve helped people pull out of themselves. I’ll be presenting it in this group, in this series “Finding Your Muchness Theme”. I hope you’ll find something inspirational and uplifting in these posts, and I hope it inspires you to jump in and take the challenge.

In my last entry of this series, I offered ideas for questions you can ask yourself to help you find some internal ‘theme’ – some personal spark of creativity or joy or positivity (or Muchness) that lives inside you but has really been feeling neglected. For me, it wasn’t sparkle, per sé, but it was my personal appearance. I was not using my appearance to reflect my creativity and personality. When I neglected to do that, it affected everything about me.

There were many times before when I had thought to myself “gosh, I really should put some effort into my appearance. I mean, my jeans have holes in them, my sneakers are filthy and my hair isn’t brushed…. and I’m on my way to work! What is wrong with me?” And then I’d tell myself “You’re busy. Who has time? Who even notices? And you’re really good at your job so no-one cares. Besides, do you really wanna be spending money on new clothes that are not your ideal size anyway? Especially when you hate shopping?” (I do, it’s true. Imagine that.)

But then, as we know, life continued the way it did. I got pregnant with the twins, and then six months later we lost them. And then three months later I was pregnant again. And there was no way I was going to re-wear my maternity stuff from the twins. So I shopped. And I took with me on my shopping trips the conscious idea that I would NOT buy more frumpy dump clothing. I would NOT buy more brown which made me feel like a turd. I would NOT buy potato sacks which made me feel like I was drowning in my big sisters clothing. I may have been miserable about the twins, but I did not have to reenforce that feeling with my clothing. Because I was also joyous about my new pregnancy, and THAT was the feeling I wanted to reinforce.

D’ya ever notice that for some unfortunate reason, it always seems the Joy is a feeling we have to work to actively maintain, whereas sorrow or anger or sadness are feelings that just happen and seem to maintain themselves? As soon as we’re not feeling happy, we feel despondent or sad, or bored or lonely, but as soon as we’re not sad, we’re not automatically happy, by default. There are no books “How to find your sadness” or “The secret to being sad.” … sad is just something we all just know how to be. But finding happiness? Well, that’s one of life’s big mysteries, and the topic behind many a book.

I always start these posts with an idea in my head. A concept which started my brain rolling on what the post would be. Sometimes I get off point. This post was supposed to be a straightforward list of ideas for themes for The Muchness Challenge. Because I KNOW that it’s tough. I KNOW when you are in deep grief or sadness or just plain stumbling through a rough patch, sitting down and thinking about a “theme” for that unspeakable ‘thing’ which is your Muchness is just really hard. And sometimes it just needs a kickstart.

But I don’t want to be all scatterbrained throwing too much Muchness talk at you in one Finding Your Muchness Entry. So I will sign off for now and save the list for another entry. Stay Tuned!

xox, Tova

Love & Muchness, Tova


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