As I mentioned yesterday, Sunday was a monumental day. Here’s why.
On her day 2 challenge, April asked what was a great memory of a day with your family. That got me to thinking and I realized that every day since we started growing our family, that had the potential for greatness, has been clouded by what’s missing.
And once I realized what I was doing- what I was unknowingly cheating myself out of- I made a promise to myself to stop it.
Sunday was the annual balloon festival. We went once. In 2009. I was pregnant with the twins and couldn’t imagine they wouldn’t be ok. I remember the day distinctly. I looked around and saw tons of identical twins. That day might have been the one time I allowed myself to “go there” – imagining in my head what our life would be like with them. Would I dress them alike (I said no way- but I probably would have) . Would people look at us and ask about them like I saw someone ask about a pair of twins? Would be even be able to leave the house? Triple strollers are ridiculously large and Molly was still so young…. And to top off the day, I was so pregnant we left before the balloon launch because I needed a rest!
Those are the thoughts I’ve been associating with balloon festival.
Last year I was pregnant with Liat and was glad to have an excuse to stay home.
This year I was torn. I knew Molly would love it but I was not in the mood to be bombarded by those memories and visually assaulted by all the twins that are invariably all over the place at events like that.
And then I read Aprils post. And it was like a big swift kick upside the head. This summer is about new memories! It is about my beautiful family! What am I doing?!?!?
So, I threw on a sequined tank and mini skirt, tied my Muchness band around my wrist, packed our sunscreen and lunch and hit the road to the balloon festival.
And it was a beautiful, fun and surprisingly relaxing day! I won’t lie- I saw lots of twins and had mild flashbacks to 2009, but I didn’t let it in. New memories are what I made that day.