I’m not gonna lie. Today kinda sucked again. I don’t know… It is definitely related to the twins and the grief… I have come to expect an occasional “off” day where the grief just floods back in, but it usually subsides within a couple of hours. It’s already been 2.5 days of feeling ‘griefy’ and I can’t seem to shake it. I know it’s because I’m going through personal transitions. I was talking to a new friend a few days back and I was explaining how this loss truly reached so deep into me- to the most buried layers of who I am, and changed me almost on a molecular level.
Now, my goal is to figure out the future for this new me, in a way that exploits the talents and gifts I have always had, while honoring my twins, teaching my daughters, and being true to myself- the new me- a woman I’m still getting to know.
Anyhow, today… I lost it. At my job, something happened that really highlighted the internal conflicts between the new me and the woman doing my job. (ie: the old me)
I went into my boss’s office and did something I am loath to do. I cried.
What am I? Lisa Lampinelli?
What I told me boss is irrelevant but it did help me feel somewhat better.
Then, as I waited for him to finish a phone call I spied some sticky back rhinestones on his desk and decided to bedazzle my phone.
It totally made me feel just a little bit better!
Then, I went out for lunch and passed Claire’s… which is sorta my achilles heel. I’d been spying those stupid nail stickers forever, thinking they area huge waste of money, but also kinda muchtastic.
So, I bought some. After all, what’s the point in having a job that steals so much of my muchness if I’m not gonna use the money I am earning to replace it with sparkle?
Ya know what? I kinda LOOOOOVE them!!!!
I really hope they stay on a while. They really make typing a whole lot more muchtastic for this keyboard (rather than screen) watcher…