Ohhh, the holidays are upon us!! That exciting time when the energy is electrified with good cheer and happy people, where we spend carefree days and nights surrounded by our extended family, decorating the house while singing happy songs, eating yummy food, baking cookies and just enjoying the perfectness of it all!
I know, right? Just writing that shit makes me feel a bit like barfing.
The holidays are hard. HARD.
Everybody with their oversized expectations, undersized budgets, chaos, drama, conflict, stress…
I was recently asked “How can a person keep their Muchness during the holidays?” and my first thought?
Don’t do what you don’t want to do.
I know. Sounds impossible, right? We spend so much time trying to accommodate everyone else, how on earth are we supposed to not do what we don’t want to do?
Well, let me let you in on a secret. You don’t HAVE to do what you don’t want to do. Don’t want to travel four hours to spent an uptight dinner with your annoying relatives? Don’t. Will you be unpopular? Maybe, for a few minutes, but so what? You are the pilot of your own life and if you would rather have a quiet dinner at home with your buddies Lean and Cuisine, that is a perfectly valid decision.
But, since I live on planet earth and recognize that that is really hard for most people, I’m gonna give you 5 other ways to keep your Muchness at the Holidays.
1- Set your expectations low. Don’t set yourself up for disappointment by expecting things from people beyond the bare bones basics. The only one who walks around disappointed in the end is you. (PS- that doesn’t mean to give up all hope that the holidays can run smooth and beautiful, hopefully they can and your family members will all be in perfect form. Just don’t expect it.)
2- As My grandmother says “just because someone drives their crazy train into your station, doesn’t mean you have to purchase a ticket and hop on board.” Don’t get on anyone else’s crazy train. It is never worth it.
3- Expect your emotions to be a little off-kilter. In the baby loss community, it’s a well-known fact that the holidays bring with them shadow sadness. Even if everything is perfect (and maybe especially if they’re perfect) the feelings of missing those who aren’t there is especially acute. If you are aware that you might feel this way, it makes going with the flow a bit easier to handle. ***Note: this is not just about loss- it can be about sadness that the year has passed and maybe you didn’t accomplish all you set out to do… whatever the emotion that rests below the surface, just let it be what it want’s to be and accept it’s presence.
4- Create a tradition. DO NOT create a plan that is going to stress you out more. Do something small, meaningful, or significant to you in a way that only you know. If there is someone you miss, something that brings you sadness, take that exact thing and make it into something that puts a smile on your face and keeps you connected to that sadness, but gives you a reason to celebrate the love that is there.
5- Wear a Muchy festive sweater! Of course!! By the way, I’m totally serious. In the tradition of Fuit cake and well, ugly festive sweaters, go put one on! Wear it with a a big ol’ self-deprecating smile and take comfort in knowing that you are being proactive in giving other people a reason to smile. And those other people, the ones that roll their eyes and think mean things? Take comfort in knowing they just need a little Muchness in their lives!
OK, so, I’m no fool. I know the chances of you purchasing a holiday sweater are slim. So I’ve taken the liberty of compiling this selection of Totally muchy and easily wearable tops. Scroll through- there’s stuff in all size ranges and all price points. I’d love to see pics of you wearing some happy, light reflecting Muchness this holiday!!