In 8th grade we were given an assignment to write a hebrew poem for our yearbook.
A bit of backstory… As a student, I was not what you’d call a success. It was the 80’s and schools taught very one-dimensionally. If you didn’t learn in the fashion that they taught, you were dismissed as dumb. In my case, it was the “not living up to my potential” tagline that followed me around, year to year, like a plague. But that’s just 1989 teacher talk for “I get that she’s dumb, but she can’t possibly be that dumb.”
Did I mention my older sister is an MD and a Phd – and a pediatric cardiologist to boot. Yeah. So, she learned the way the schools wanted us to learn. From books and by listening to the teacher and completing homework and studying very, very hard. That was a bunch of stuff I wasn’t really good at. So, by comparison, to the untrained eye, I suppose I did appear that dumb.
Anyway, back to the point.
We had to write a poem. So I sat with my mom and talked through what I wanted my poem to be about and then she helped me translate it into hebrew. I submitted my poem, perhaps the only homework assignment I completed that year that made me feel accomplished… or at least not dumb.
I was informed a few days later that the teachers and yearbook editorial staff concluded I could not have written the poem- it was too good for a dummy like me and it would therefore not be printed in the yearbook. If memory serves, I believe it was suggested by a classmate that perhaps my sister wrote it. If that classmate is a FB friend who happens to troll this blog and reads this post, Fuck You.
But anyway, I was crushed.
I committed the poem to memory (The only thing I memorized that year, I’m sure… and not to difficult since I’d written it) and in 12th grade, in a different school, I submitted the poem for publication in the yearbook. After correcting some grammatical mistakes, it was published. Victory was mine.
I was recently in the shower (where all random thoughts and moments of pure genius occur) and this memory popped into my head out of nowhere, along with the poem, permanently inked on my brain. I thought about the meaning of the poem I was shocked by how true it has stayed, throughout my life, informing the decisions I’ve made and following this path that has led me to The Muchness.
The world spins in circles.
If you want to know yourself
Look into the past
Because that is where you’ll find
what you’re looking for.
Because in this world
there are no beginnings and there are no endings
and there is nothing new under the sun.
I was so smart!
Looking in the past is how I found my Muchness! I looked to the things that used to bring me joy on a more innocent, easy time, and I invited those small joys back into my world.
As a kid, what made you feel Muchy? What sparked you? Ignited your passion and brought a smile to your face? What were you good at and loved doing? What did you daydream about in class? Recapture those memories by writing them in the comments below. And then explore them in your world.
…Perhaps I should once again start writing poetry…
When I went to take a picture of the poem I came upon my 8th grade yearbook picture which I’ll be sharing shortly. What was written next to it truly blew my mind.