What’s Muchness? – Finding My Muchness

Muchness is the energy, the life, the spark of positivity that fuels our days, our imaginations, our confidence. I want to help you reconnect to your Muchness. To learn more and hear my story, keep reading.

Kids are filled with Muchness. Their desire to see and learn and know and experience is something to be envied. As adults we often lose our Muchness. The day to day routines that can drag us down, the disappointments that sometimes seem like they’ll never end… we don’t take the time to see the positivity. We forget to be inspired.

Why are you here?
You’ve clicked on this page because you’re looking for something.

What?
Healing? Did you endure a terrible loss and you’re trying to find a way to make sense of it?
Maybe you feel like you are living on auto-pilot, completely disconnected from your purpose, waiting for something to happen before you start living fully?
Or are you just feeling overwhelmed? Your confidence is shot, you second guess yourself constantly, you don’t say what you feel, or even know what you feel and the self-defeating voices in your head are too loud to ignore?
It’s also possible that you just love the idea of filling your world with color and sparkle as a tool to tap into the light and joy inside you.

Maybe it’s all of those.

Well, the good news is, I think I can help you.
The bad news? I have no idea what I’m talking about.

I’m not a coach or a psychologist or a hypnotist or a healer. And I don’t claim to be. I am just a woman on a journey with you, who has stumbled upon some tools and insight (and sparkles) that have made my life happier. And my motivation for sharing what I’ve learned is entirely selfish. I get tremendous amounts of joy from watching others find their own Muchness.
I like to say The Muchness is my Muchness.

The fact is, I was just like you, living a Muchless life. I’d lie in bed at night and wonder where the vibrant, confident young girl I used to be had disappeared to. I didn’t know if it was a result of moving to the suburbs, having kids, putting on weight, not sleeping enough, not eating right, that damned commute to my day job, that damned day job… what had happened that had knocked the fire out of my belly?

Sadly, I told myself that maybe when my kids got older, or when I had more money or when I lost ten pounds that part of me would find time to shine again. I say sadly because the fact is, we should never procrastinate feeling good about ourselves, especially when there are children learning to treat themselves the way they see their mother treat herself. And sadly because that damaged thinking negated all the beauty and joy that I was blessed with at that very minute – a healthy daughter, an amazing husband, a nice home – a beautiful life that we were building together.

How sad is that?

And then, in September 2009, I lost my twins. Six months into my pregnancy my identical twin girls were taken from me by Twin-to-Twin Transfusion Syndrome. (TTTS)

And I sank into darkness.

Sometimes, you get so low that the only way out is up.

Finding My Muchness is my journey back up. It is my journey to rediscover “me” and the things that ignite me as a woman, as an artist, as an entrepreneur. My confidence was shattered and I had no clarity on what I wanted my life as an individual to be about. When I started being able to answer those questions, I also became a better mom and wife.

After Sunshine & Daisy died I truly felt as though beneath my skin, my insides were black. What I found was that by literally turning to light- sparkle, shine, color & creativity I was able to open a box inside me which revealed just a little bit of my internal light. It hadn’t been extinguished, it was just hiding. The more I engaged in things which fed that light, the more the box opened and the more light was revealed.

I want to help you find that which ignites you. I want to help you connect with what makes you feel alive and present. I want to let you know that you are not alone, and that the tools to get where you want to be exist. They are inside you. You need to know that. It’s simply your responsibility to identify and feed them, even if it is in teeny tiny itty little bits.

Remember, this is about the journey. I’m on it with you and believe me, not every day is gumdrops and sequins, and it certainly is not a straight path. Some days suck. They are hard, annoying, grief filled, tense and sad. But I was able to create a habit of seeing the light and joy to get me through the darker days. I am grateful for that and want to help you do the same.

Join me as we figure this thing out together.