Inspirational gifts and accessories
So there I was, trolling through the Joe Fresh store, mostly just because I needed a break from the blazing heat. The salesgirl comes up behind me- “Can I help you find somet—- OH MY GOD I LOVE YOUR SHOES!!!! They make me feel so happy!!”—-
I told her that making people happy via happy “stuff” is my goal in life. (One of them… true story) Obviously, I have a new BFF. I even asked her to take a picture with me so I could write this blog post because it was such an awesome MUCHNESS MOMENT and we all know, MUCHNESS moments are meant to be shared!!
Oh, and the happy making shoes? Just my everyday loaf around the house platforms:
After the twins died, everything in the world just literally became gray. It was all I could see. I’d wake up in the morning, my face puffy from the tears that had dried on my cheeks the night before. I’d drag myself into my closet and pull something out that felt like I felt. Something gray. Something brown. Something stained, ripped, dirty, overwashed and ill-fitting. I really didn’t care. I’d walk from the bus station to my office, sometimes crying the whole way. Not caring that people were looking at me strangely. “If they had two dead babies, they’d be crying too” I said to myself.
I’d get to the office and do my work, feeling like shit, looking like shit. I wasn’t worried what my coworkers thought of my appearance. That just never occurred to me to matter.
Then, one day, my boss unexpectedly called me into a sales meeting. The women who sat at the table looked polished and fresh in the bright display lights of our showroom. I stood before them, completely mortified. I remember clearly what I was wearing that day. Jeans that were unwashed and way too big, saggy on my tush with an actual patch in the seat to cover a hole. Gray sneakers. An olive green t-shirt stretched over my muffin top and post (dead) baby belly with a graphic of The Beatles stretched across my chest. Over that, I wore a brown vintage button down polyester shirt. I believe it was missing a button. My hair was in a messy, unwashed ponytail.
My boss introduced me as the head of design. “The genius who makes magic happen.” he said. I stood before them feeling like something that crawled out of a sewer. I pasted a smile on my face and answered their questions. When I walked out of the room I thought to myself “Well, they’d look like shit too if they had Two Dead Babies.”
And when I heard myself think that, that’s when I knew. Enough Was Enough.
It was up to me to make the choice to sink or swim, and I decided to swim. The only way I knew to start was with the outside. And so I did- No more gray, no more heavy disgusting clothing. I was going to infuse my outside with color and shine that was so bright and so bold it could break through the wall of gray that surrounded me. And, you know how that story unfolds. That decision ultimately found a name, and it’s name is The Muchness.
When I look at pictures of me before the twins, I feel like it is a different person– a naive, innocent, opinionated girl I no longer know. And when I’ve looked at pictures of me after, it’s felt like a kaleidoscope of bits and pieces of me in the middle of some kind of reformatting process.
This weekends photo shoot felt like a culmination of that journey and that decision to swim. Tanya knows my story and understands the path I’ve traveled to get here. She saw my dress and it was her suggestion to take pictures in this setting. Pictures of a woman who has not drowned in her grief, but has been able to push through to a brighter, even more beautiful place of light & joy. I mean, really. Who wears a party dress in the bathtub?
It’s no secret that when we look good, we feel good. We’ve all heard that before, but honestly, just writing it gives me the feeling that I’m talking in clichés that mean nothing and it kinda gives me the icks. I mean, in my mind the only people that put “looking good” that high on their to-do list are obviously people with too much time on their hands, right? And they probably all have their plastic surgeon on speed dial, or, they live at the gym and loooove building up a sweat. Not exactly the person I see when I look in the mirror, ya know?
But here’s the secret. It’s not about those things. I mean, if plastic surgery or loving the gym are your thing- more power to you! But if you’re just who YOU are, doing YOUR thing- working, chasing kids, running errands, going to school, dealing with the crap life sometimes throws your way- there is NO reason you can’t also be an individual that proves the sentiment “When you look good, you feel good.” Really. It’s actually easier than you think. As one of our current Muchness challengers recently wrote “…now I see the difference between being selfish and just simply being nice to yourself.”
Here are 5 reasons why something as small as happy nail polish can actually enhance your mood- on the inside:
1- You can make your Muchness Meter Ding like mad!
Ya know that feeling you get when you come across a picture or color and you instinctively go “Oooh! I like that!”? Well, that’s what I like to call your Muchness Meter, and it’s going “DING!” Here’s the thing- you can actually recreate that little jolt MUCHNESS dozens- if not hundreds of times throughout the day just by wearing toe nail polish in a color you love! Every single time you look down at your toes it’ll be like “ding-ding-ding-ding…” (this same concept holds true for fingernails, and pants, even cute little colorful under-things- though you’ll see them less frequently. 😉 )
4- You are giving yourself something muchy to think about- namely, what MUCHNESS are you gonna wear tomorrow?
When we get stuck in a thought loop, the same ideas and words can toss around in our heads for hours, or days- even months or years. Early on in my grief I’d spend my time letting really sad and upsetting thoughts live in my head. In truth- I needed to deal with those thoughts and I needed to allow them to work their way through my brain so could move to the next stage of healing. But at some point I was ready to start setting those thoughts free. But what else was I going to think about while walking to and from the bus station and my office? During that walk, I was so used to entertaining thoughts about my sadness and grief – I didn’t even know what else to think about! So, I thought about sparkles. And nail polish and tutus and cute shoes. And those things made me smile. Simple, but true. Ask yourself what makes you smile? Then think about those things more.
5- And the number 5 reason why wearing something Muchy on the outside makes you feel good on the inside?
Because You are taking care of you.
Oh, I know— another chiché about women… we put everyone else before ourselves. Funny thing about clichés… they’re often so true. So, maybe you don’t have to time to go to the gym on a regular basis, Maybe you’re not interested plastic surgery, and maybe you ate the kid’s leftover chicken nuggets for dinner because that’s all you had time for… that’s life and we do what we can. Taking a moment each day to focus on your own muchtasicness will benefit you and everyone around you! You will feel better, happier, your kids will benefit, your husband will benefit, your job will benefit.
My friend Dawn sat like a lunatic and glued every single one of these Swarovski Crystals onto these Louboutin Shoes that apparently weren’t Muchy enough to begin with. 🙂
https://www.facebook.com/purplesnowflakedesign
Go, be Muchtastic, like her page and tell her how much they kick ass.
xox, Tova
This morning on the elevator heading up to my office, a woman was just going gaga over my shoes. She said “oh, I just love them! And look at me, in my black flats… You make me wanna go out and get some happy shoes…” I told her my goal in life is to make everyone feel that way. 🙂 as she got off she said “thank you so much! Those shoes are the bright spot in my day!” — which, of course, is the bright spot in MY day! Oh, I how love The Muchness…”
—Please tell!!! What is the bright spot in your day today? Sharing it will make it a REAL MUCHNESS moment!!!
I have no idea where this pic is from- I am drawing the not-so-far-fetched conclusion it is the Victories Secret Fashion Show- a veritable overdose of Muchness…
There’s so much I love about this pic, but mostly, honestly, It’s her smile… because How can you NOT be happy in a Muchy explosion like this?
…and I’m NOT talking about the price, to which the answer is obvious…
The weather has been super hot the last few days and the house is starting to smell like summer. Last summer I remember writing that it was strange and sad and exciting that it was the first summer in three years that I wasn’t post partum or pregnant. Those long, hot days of having a baby (or two) connected to me, (either inside or outside my body) were a thing of the past.
These smells of summer that have been wafting through the house have me feeling like I don’t know if I am ready for another summer just yet. It’s going too quick. One season after another, year after year.
I know these thoughts are not revolutionary. Others have thought them before me… Obviously.
Before time gets away from me… I need to start actively visualizing the exciting possibilities that I can create that can allow me to live the life I want.
Heres a story: I knew Elie was “the one” because before I met him, I’d visualized him. Sounds hoakie but its 1000% true. One night in my late 20s I lay in my bed at moms house where I was living because I was single, broke and jobless (and I had braces on my teeth. Imagine) It was a month before my 29th birthday and it occurred to me I did not want to be in the same position when I turned 30. I took a moment to imagine where I did want to be. I was in a nicer room, a master bedroom, and my husband was sitting on the corner of the bed taking off his socks and he said something silly/funny and I felt happy and content and giddy anticipating him coming to bed. It wasn’t in a sexual way- it was in a confident-that-this-is-where-I’m-meant-to-be-and-who-I’m-meant-to-be-with-and-I’m-happy way.
On my 29th birthday I woke up, showed up at my orthodontists office and demanded my braces come off that day. Two days later, I met Elie.
Within days I knew it was him. And within three months I’d sent him a picture of the ring I wanted. By my 30th birthday we were married. And i swear, that confident-that-this-is-where-I’m-meant-to-be-and-who-I’m-meant-to-be-with-and-I’m-happy feeling is the exact way I feel when I climb into bed next to him at night. (I’m a night owl- hes usually fast asleep by the time I crawl into bed- so i didnt get it 100%… So sue me.)
The smell of summer in my house has made me wanna spread my wings of possibility because if I understand what I want, it is well within my grasp.
Here’s another example. I always envisioned myself a strong, sexy mom.
But I spent too long being less than muchtastic. Yesterday I took the girls for pizza. I was coming straight from work.
In the pizza shop I found myself holding Liat with one hand, this high chair in the other, carrying them both gracefully through the crowded restaurant, single handedly lifting the high chair OVER another chair and putting it in place at our table, while wearing these shoes. I felt entirely bad-ass. 🙂
The power of visualization. It can take you great places.