I saw an aquaintance this weekend and we had the following conversaton:
HIM: I saw you and Elie one day this week.
ME: Really? Where?
HIM: You were on so-&-so street. You were fighting with each other.
ME: ummm, no. That musta been someone else.
HIM: No- I’m certain it was you guys. You were arguing pretty intense… You were flailing your arms and everything.
ME: I have no idea what you’re talking about.
HIM: Yes. It was in the morning. Elie was in the car and you were standing outside the car at the window all mad…
ME: Wait. Every morning Elie drops me off at the bus stop on his way to drop the kids at daycare. After I get out of the car the girls and I blow a million and one air kisses to each other until Elie pulls away. Is that what you saw?
HIM: Oh. I guess that’s what I saw.
LORD, PLEASE GRANT ME A LIFETIME OF NEVER CONFUSING KISSES WITH FIGHTING.