Muchness day 13- clarity when u need it

I haven’t skipped days. That’s just your imagination.
September has been kicking my ass. The 25th of this month is the 3 year anniversary of the day we said goodbye, and it is around the corner. Three years.

Today, on a whim, I sat my ass down on a pile of dog beds in my office. They were just inviting me to sink into them.

As soon as I did I thought, “oh my! These are soft… And This is the place!” I closed my eyes. Felt my breathing and tried to stop the swirling in my brain. It was really hard. Because the voices in my head were screaming. They’ve been screaming for a while, but I’ve been muzzling then. And in the quiet of the dog bed showroom, hiding in a tremendous brown box, as my pulsed raced, and my brain and heart screamed, clarity found me.
This was the view.

Today is clarity day.
I actually have pictures for the last few challenges. I’ll post those soon. Xoxox


This is my view on the bus home from work.

Know what’s my favorite part? That they’re beat up!

When the paint first started chipping I planned to touch it up, but now I feel a sense of accomplishment and pride from the fact that I have built up a confidence to wear these muchy insane shoes frequently enough that they look – and actually are- “well-worn.”

If you’ve been reading a while you’ll remember when I bought these shoes and came very close to returning them, thinking I’d never wear them… And certainly not enough to get my money’s worth from them! It’s like I built up my comfort-zone tolerance to the point where this much Muchness comes naturally!
If you have something your Muchness Meter is daring you to invite into your life- take a tiny step forward and do it. Whether its sequin converse sneakers or taking an art class. Step into it and see how amazing it feels to grasp your Muchness Moments. 🙂

Day 10 – Gifts, Presents, messages and hope.

I wrote the challenges for this event at least a month ago. And Beryl determined the order, so the fact that they are popping up on days that are significant to the challenge of the day is kinda creeping me out, in a muchness sorta way.

My friend’s daughter is in the hospital. She is 1.5 years old and a super sweet little girl. I went to visit today and was happy to see that, despite the very serious circumstances of her stay, she is in good spirits. Please say a little prayer for her that she can come home soon.

We were away two weeks ago when she was first admitted, and she’d expected to be home by now, but she isn’t yet, so yesterday I went out and bought some stuff to keep them busy and engaged during their long hospital days. I hadn’t planned to photograph it, but then todays challenge popped into my inbox. “Give someone a gift.”

I picked up that box, thinking of all the paperwork that accumulates and the stuff that is probably filling their room. They should have something Muchy to keep it in.

I also wanted to give my friend a Muchness Band but didn’t have time to pick the perfect quote. When I was leaving, I looked down at my bag and saw my own green Muchness band wrapped around the handle. I untied it and gave it to her. It was one of the very first Muchness Bands I’ve ever made and I’ve worn it a lot. I told her it was well-worn and well-loved and when she tied it on her wrist, she said “I’ll take whatever I can get” and actually breathed a small sign of relief. She told me that green is the color for heart health and Heart Chakra and I told her it was the color of healing. There is so little I can do to help her, but knowing that she feels a sense of comfort – small as it may be- from her Muchness Band touches me deeply.

The hospital where she is is the same hospital we went every week, at least once a week, for the twins. It is the place we felt most hopeful and it is also the place we ultimately lost them. In her room, I didn’t think much about it, but when I walked the hallways, signed in at the front desk, even collected my car from the valet, it was with a sense of deja vu. As I drove away I stopped at a red light and turned to my right. It was on that corner, Elie and I stood after learning our daughters fate. I’d cried on the corner as we waited for his dad to pick us up, not knowing what had happened. That corner. It’s like my life’s path pivoted on that corner.

Almost 3 years to the day.

I hate that I had a reason to go to that hospital today, but I feel close to the girls there and  was grateful for the excuse.

Muchness meets photography- day 7 – today it found me!

I woke up intent to stay connected to my muchness seeking journey today, and as I walked to work, I noticed some huge sunflowers in front of the Garment Center Synagogue which I pass every day yet never noticed!

However, as I got closer I realized not only were they sad and lonely in those planters, they were fake.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but it just was just a bit of a letdown.
But here’s the thing. On the way back from work, I passed by the very same spot and THIS was there:

And this:

And this:

—check out here dress. 🙂

It was literally right across the street from the fake sunflowers!

Pretty crayzee, right?

Muchness Meets Photography, Day 6!!! – The beauty in the Ugly.

So, I had a hard time with this today!!!

I saw this early in the morning and thought- “Oh! Shiny!” so I snapped the picture.

Can you guess what it is up close?

How about now?

I am going to hold up my white flag for the day. I came up with the idea for this challenge from my own experience and yet, I think know my post is the lamest of everyones. Maybe it’s the Muchness effect… but I was wracking my brain all day and can’t think of something that is around me that’s “Ugly!” I mean, sure there are tons of stuff that’re less than beautiful, but it’s a lot harder to see “ugly” than it used to be…

So I guess, in a way, that’s a beautiful thing?

Muchness meets Photography- Day 5!!

Shoes aren’t supposed to scare me. I didn’t go into this store to fulfill todays challenge. I went in because I AWAYS go in. This store is across the street from my office and it’s where I buy almost all my shoes. Today, I went in because they received a whole bunch of fall merchandise and, despite my budget which means I’ll likely get NO new shoes this season (so sad ;-( ) I HAD to see what they were selling.


Quilted and studded

“delicate” mini studs everywhere

Studs on the pumps and studs on the loafers

The shelf: Studs, studs, steel toes and studs

The craziest ones there.

These scared me for 2 reasons.

1- The aforementioned budget.

2- There was no color! And, as much as I like these shoes in theory – they are bold and loud and over-the-top – they are also, well, kinda angry looking. I don’t want to walk around in angry shoes. I want to walk around in shoes that make people smile and say “Oh! Those are so happy!” …which happens EVERY SINGLE TIME I WEAR THESE:

I’m gonna head on over to NastyGal now and drool a bit.

Then I’m gonna go to my basement (AKA: Muchness Command Center) and Muchify a certain pair of boots from last season….

…see… it DOES exist!