It’s been almost 3 months since I left my full time job and I gotta say, working from home is not all it’s cracked up to be. It’s hard. It’s hard to stay motivated, it’s hard to stay connected to human beings and simultaneously, it’s hard to stay off Facebook when I know I have important work to get done if I am going to share The Muchness with The Masses.
But one thing that became very clear to me in the last few days is that I’ve gotten stuck in a rut. I’ve forgotten that this is supposed to be -NAY – this NEEDS to be FUN! I’ve been so bogged down by the BIG HEAVY questions of what I’m doing + being at home almost all day, all by myself, that I’ve forgotten to have any fun!!
So. Not. Muchy.
Last night I went to a networking event. I met some really interesting women doing some exciting stuff, and got to speak OUT LOUD, TO HUMAN BEINGS, about The Muchness. I got to tell one woman all of my visions for MuchnessTV and I loved watching her laugh as I described how I envisioned it, the different segments and guests.
I need to figure out how to get out from behind my computer more often. I love people. I love watching the reactions I get when I explain The Muchness- The lightbulb moment where they I *get* it and say “oh! I have to get a Muchness band for my sister / cousin / friend – That’s exactly what they need to lift them out of this funk.”
It’s my fuel. My tank was feeling close to empty. I pull the same crap with my car, letting it get so close to empty before I pull into a gas station. Note to self: I must refuel myself before that light goes on. Do you also let your tank get down to E before you remember to refuel? In your car… in your life? It’s so hard sometimes, so ya just keep justifying – “oh- I only have to make one short trip, then I’ll refuel. Oh, I can feel the car hesitating but the lights not even on yet…. blah blah blah….” the justifications are ultimately so useless.
KEEP YOUR DAMN TANK FUELED!!!
Words of wisdom for a friday
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What’s stressing me today
Conversation while driving kiddos to school: Big one: mom, you know money is just paper, you can’t rely on it for anything. And then you die and you can’t do anything with it anyway. Mom: that’s why you have a will. To tell people what to do with your money. Lil one: what if you’re poor and have no money? Mom: you still have a will in case you have kids so you can say who should take care of them if they’re not old enough to take care of themselves. Lil one: like if you have a kid when you’re 90? Big one: you can only have a kid till you’re 50. Lil one: so mommy has 10 more years to have another baby. Big one: but mommys not gonna have another baby because she’s not praying to god to give her one and also she’s happy with the kids she already has. Mom: you learned you have babies when you pray to god to give you one? Big one: yeah, that’s how my teacher (who recently gave birth) got one. She prayed for it. Mom: ya know there’s more to it than praying, right? There’s like, science and stuff…. I’ll get you a book. …. On its surface, I get this— I do send them to a religious school…. but I can’t help but think of the whole “my baby would’ve lived if I’d just prayed harder” nonsense that permeates the babyloss communities. The complicated pregnancies that resulted in healthy survivors and the subtle but unintended arrogance of mothers crediting their prayers for their luck, directly shaming those with worse luck who believed in prayer with just as much blind faith but still lost. #postlosslife – amazing how many things hearken back to the lessons learned. Any book suggestions or should I just do what my mom did and leave a copy of “Our Bodies, Ourselves” in plain site at all times? I think I turned out relatively healthy on that education.
yes, I am very guilty of getting down to E way too often as well. And then we’re all miserable! Your new muchness cards are super cool, your newsletter is great! As always, I enjoy reading your blog!
xoxo
Alexa