Once upon a place in a time called “my 20’s” I was bad-ass. At least in my mind I was. Bad-ass in that super-cool way 20 somethings sometimes think they are. I was working on my own handbag business and many of my friends were working on their own super-cool businesses and we were sure we were gonna take over the world with our super-cool bad-assness.

One of my friends had a website that sold jewish themed, bad-ass tchotchkas and gifts.

I saw this t-shirt and decided it was meant for me:

(Scratching your Head? What’s CHUTZPAH? Here’s what it means.)

I wore it a lot, usually layered under other stuff. And then, in 2007 I got pregnant with Molly. I physically couldn’t fit into this tank top for a year and a half. Emotionally, I couldn’t fit into it for much longer than that. Instead, physically and emotionally I fit into this:

(Your “Oy Vey Cheat Sheet.)

This past weekend I found myself in an email exchange that required me to really, truly tap into my Chutzpah. In a positive, productive and proactive way.

I was emailing about something that I believe in so strongly, and I believe affects so many mothers like me- mothers that have lost children to TTTS. I felt proud that I have found my voice and found my strength to use it, to say what I believe needs to be said. To say it in a firm but respectful way. To say it for those not in a position or not currently strong enough to say it themselves.

Before I crawled into bed last night I dug deep into my “clothes I love but will likely never fit into again” drawer and pulled it out. Not only does it fit again, but on days when I’m not bloated, I think I’ll actually find myself wearing it. Perhaps I should pull out the bedazzler and muchify it even more!! 🙂