The weather has been super hot the last few days and the house is starting to smell like summer. Last summer I remember writing that it was strange and sad and exciting that it was the first summer in three years that I wasn’t post partum or pregnant. Those long, hot days of having a baby (or two) connected to me, (either inside or outside my body) were a thing of the past.
These smells of summer that have been wafting through the house have me feeling like I don’t know if I am ready for another summer just yet. It’s going too quick. One season after another, year after year.
I know these thoughts are not revolutionary. Others have thought them before me… Obviously.
Before time gets away from me… I need to start actively visualizing the exciting possibilities that I can create that can allow me to live the life I want.
Heres a story: I knew Elie was “the one” because before I met him, I’d visualized him. Sounds hoakie but its 1000% true. One night in my late 20s I lay in my bed at moms house where I was living because I was single, broke and jobless (and I had braces on my teeth. Imagine) It was a month before my 29th birthday and it occurred to me I did not want to be in the same position when I turned 30. I took a moment to imagine where I did want to be. I was in a nicer room, a master bedroom, and my husband was sitting on the corner of the bed taking off his socks and he said something silly/funny and I felt happy and content and giddy anticipating him coming to bed. It wasn’t in a sexual way- it was in a confident-that-this-is-where-I’m-meant-to-be-and-who-I’m-meant-to-be-with-and-I’m-happy way.
On my 29th birthday I woke up, showed up at my orthodontists office and demanded my braces come off that day. Two days later, I met Elie.
Within days I knew it was him. And within three months I’d sent him a picture of the ring I wanted. By my 30th birthday we were married. And i swear, that confident-that-this-is-where-I’m-meant-to-be-and-who-I’m-meant-to-be-with-and-I’m-happy feeling is the exact way I feel when I climb into bed next to him at night. (I’m a night owl- hes usually fast asleep by the time I crawl into bed- so i didnt get it 100%… So sue me.)
The smell of summer in my house has made me wanna spread my wings of possibility because if I understand what I want, it is well within my grasp.
Here’s another example. I always envisioned myself a strong, sexy mom.
But I spent too long being less than muchtastic. Yesterday I took the girls for pizza. I was coming straight from work.
In the pizza shop I found myself holding Liat with one hand, this high chair in the other, carrying them both gracefully through the crowded restaurant, single handedly lifting the high chair OVER another chair and putting it in place at our table, while wearing these shoes. I felt entirely bad-ass. 🙂
The power of visualization. It can take you great places.
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IN TOUCH WITH THE MUCH!
YES! This is exactly it!!!
I have done the same things many times in the past and now I am there too. I started writing a desire list and most of them are now reality. For example: I wrote “I want to get married, own a home with a downtown nearby, take walks regularly with my husband and children…etc.” And, now I am doing just that.
It’s easy to forget how it’s done, but once you remember, amazing things start to happen!
The key us really really honing in on the specifics of what it is you want… Which In a lot of ways I haven’t yet been able to identify in real-world actualities. Its more conceptual in my mind still- I need to bring quantitative goals into the picture…
Sounds like you could be taking a page right out James Redfield’s Celestine’s Prohecy books. If you haven’t read them, i suggest that you do – if you have the time. I know I want something better, but I don’t know how to ask the universe for it. I think I am too scared too in all actuality, I think that I need to work on me first, and then worry about what I really want.
Do I really need to “ask” the universe for something? I think I just have to claim it. Better to ask forgiveness than permission, that’s what my boss always says. You sit around asking for stuff, your actions are defined by the answer. You just up and do stuff and YOU define the answer.
…I just need to know what I want to claim… I’m getting there.
Tova, That’s been the issue for me too. I’ve been asking for the things I think I want, when in actuality it’s not what I want. I’m now being very specific about what I want, and I have to feel a certain way when I dream about it/desire it. If my feelings aren’t completely pure and light, I know it’s not what I really want. This whole past year, I’ve been wanting for variations of a similar thing, but not exactly what it is I truly desire. I think, like Suzy, I was afraid. It’s been really hard for me to actually believe what I want can work out, that’s why I’ve been compromising my desires. ….
totally there with you! We have to motivate each other!! We can SO get what we want!
isn’t that egotistical to just take from the universe? Maybe I am misunderstanding what you are trying to convey Tova, and if I am I apologize.
I guess, I have always thought that if it is meant to happen it will happen, that you can’t MAKE something happen. Diffrent frame of mind I guess…. but I am always alret for “coincidences” which I don’t really believe in anyways – I think that every person you meet, passes your path for a reason- either you have a message to share with them or they have a message to share with you.
I don’t think it’s egotistical, I think it’s proactive. Technically, we can’t just ‘take’ from the universe, if we could, I’d have my twins with me. However, even if we could just ‘take’, I think there is more than enough to go around, so why should anyone settle for less than their share simply because they were waiting for permission to take it? The universe, in the end, does what it wants. But I also don’t think we need to wait and see what the universe ‘wants’ to give us. Some people struggle their whole life to get ahold of their piece and others seem to have it laid out before them. And others just accept that they were not selected by the universe to receive a piece. I’m not talking about money here either… I’m talking lifestyle and contentedness and a sense of feeling like one deserves and has a right to whatever positive stuff that exists in the universe that is up for grabs. What I mean is, we have to create the opportunities that open ourselves up to the possibilities of what we CAN have. I am no more or less deserving than anyone else but what I end up with is, in large part, up to me.
I do believe that if something is meant to happen, it will, but I don’t believe that we cannot MAKE it happen. WE are the primary element in the “meant to happen” equation! If we don’t do our part, then of course its not going to happen- even if it was meant to- because the pieces have not been put in their proper places.
Does that make more sense?
🙂