Kristyn has been into The Muchness pretty much since Day One- sending in her reader submissions and commenting on posts… so I am So Excited to Introduce her!!
Everyone, Meet Kristyn!!!
I guess it is time for my introduction: My name is Kristyn, and Tova and I “met” through a baby loss website during our subsequent pregnancies. My first pregnancy was so exciting for me- I told EVERYONE as soon as I found out and everything seemed to be going smoothly until the results of my triple screen came back suggestive of a neural tube defect. During the ultrasound I frantically tried to see my baby’s spinal cord and neglected to notice the lack of amniotic fluid present. After a very long weekend and another specialist, my baby was diagnosed with Potter’s Syndrome- a lack of functional kidneys. Unfortunately, after around 16 weeks gestation the kidneys are responsible for creating the amniotic fluid, without which the lungs do not develop. It is 100% fatal. On December 8, 2006, at 17 weeks 1 day, my beautiful, perfect baby Annabelle was born sleeping. Since that time I have survived and tried to cherish two subsequent pregnancies with healthy baby boys- Ben (3 1/2) and Sam (17months).
My boys are my light and have helped me survive 4 years of very demanding training. My husband is the most supportive man you could ever imagine. During the first year of Ben’s life, he brought him to visit me at work at least once a day and he has been a stay-at-home dad since Ben was born. He put his music career on hold to help me follow my dream to become a physician. I can’t believe I am lucky enough to have such a wonderful family. Still, I find it very hard to take time to do things for myself and I often feel overwhelmed and like I can’t quite do anything well enough. Our income is very limited and any extra tends to go towards fun stuff for the boys. Despite my very sarcastic (and sometimes a little sick) sense of humor I have always been a pretty positive person, and although I cannot understand the reasons for my loss I have tried to allow myself to treasure the time I had with Annabelle and thank her for bringing my husband and I even closer. I am not religious, but I strongly believe she is in a better place and it brings me peace to imagine her playing with all the other babies who left this world too soon.
Tova and her Muchness Challenge have inspired me to try to take care of myself a little better, and maybe take a little time away from the boys every now and again (without feeling guilty for being a bad mommy). I have never been a sequin sort of person, but the sparkles on this website have been bringing a smile to my face since Tova started her journey and I hope that my journey can do the same for some of you. Since I wear boring green scrubs for work almost every day my muchness tends to be little bits of uniqueness that make me smile during the day- be that fun colors on my nails, crazy socks, or strange accessories. I am sure in the journey you will also see some pictures of my two “pieces of muchness”- my sweet boys!
So to start off my journey, here is a picture of the ring I had made in honor of Annabelle just a few days after I lost her. The only two times I have taken it off were the birth of each of my subsequent babies. It comforts me to have something to hold with me at all times. Engraved inside the ring is her birthday.