Guest Post: Dr. Phil Dembo!

So, many of you probably remember my radio conversations with Dr. Phil Dembo, Auther of The Real Purpose of Parenting. Well, I was thrilled when he agreed to write a guest blog for us… and I love his topic choice! 🙂


If you are reading this blog entry, you already know the beautiful and amazing energy Tova is generating with her “Finding my Muchness” challenge.

We all, at some point in our lives, must face the fact that the circumstances that unfold before each of us can be painful, daunting and completely exhausting.

That, I’m afraid, is just life!

It is also equally important to note that the circumstances may unfold with positivity, opportunity and joy.  Yet, without our muchness, that too can feel overwhelming.

You see, it is not the circumstances that present themselves that force us to lose our way from the “muchness” inside.

And it is not the way we handle those circumstances that dictate how much “muchness” is available to us.

Each baby is born “universal,” where their experience equals their identity.

A newborn feels their total “muchness,” their total greatness, without ever really thinking about its existence.

Why, because their muchness IS their experience.

A baby feels hungry and cries.  A baby is fed and coos.

There is no low self-worth, no feelings of inadequacy, and no preoccupation with the circumstance as a way to create their identity.

The human condition IS our muchness!

It is through the years of “comparative analysis” of what “ought to be” with “what is” that we begin to lose the feeling of our greatness and replace it with the learned script of who we are supposed to be.

It is the learned judgment of self as it relates to others that force us to lose our way.

Judgment of self, judgment of others, and judgment of our circumstance based on a contrived standard society (others) have created for us teaches each baby to relinquish their muchness and replace it with performance.

We are born universal.  We are born with our “muchness.”

We must learn to stop the comparison, the judgment, and feel the moment we are in to find our way back…back to where we began…completely in the moment of our greatness.

Thank God for people like Tova Gold, who show us ways to find our way out of judgment and into the moment of who we are.

Love & Muchness, Tova

2 Replies to “Guest Post: Dr. Phil Dembo!”

  1. Tova Gold Post author

    I actually have so often thought this. when I look at my kids and see how ‘free’ they are to just ‘be’ and do…
    Mmmmmm…. how to let them hold onto that…
    ….and same for me….


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