September was not the best month. I don’t know why, for the second year in row, I thought September would be easier than it was. This year, Beryl and I created the Photography Challenge and as exciting as it was, I fell off the Muchness wagon. And I let myself fall off. I just needed the time. But I feel bad, because I feel a responsibility to you to be all Muchness, all the time…and I’m just not. Sometimes The Muchness is Loud and Proud and it makes my insides ignite with joy, and sometimes it’s just a whisper, keeping me inspired and knowing that tomorrow will get better.
Lots of changes in my life happened in September, which is another reason I’ve been a little MIA. I’ll be going into detail a bit later- Maybe in tomorrows post. I miss posting on a regular basis. I miss keeping track of my Muchness Moments. The jewish Holidays this year have been a bit overwhelming, taking up so much time, an my head has been 1000 other places. Beyond Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur- the majors, we still have Succot– which we are in the middle of and lasts a week.
My husbands brother lives in Israel and has four kids- three girls and a boy. Molly and Liat see them so infrequently but are totally obsessed with them. Between them and the other kids in the family, my in-laws house has been overloaded with young cousins. Watching my girls play with their cousins has been awesome. Molly just lights up around other kids (at least ones that she can kinda boss around.) Watching her shine has been my Muchness Moments of late.
Three of my sister-in-laws are also expecting right now. Last night Molly asked me if we can have another baby, like they are and honestly, I told her no. And it didn’t really hurt. Progress.
I was sooo looking forward to this Sept Muchness challenge to gear up for what is my most tough month October. I fell off the muchness wagon though because at the end of Aug I found out a friend had been murdered and it completely threw me out of finding my muchness and into an early grieving process for two of my babies in Oct. One being today! I missed most of the month but I still have all my emails and once I am back in moving forward mode again I plan to continue on where I left off and post my blogs in the community too. I hope that will be ok? Thanks for this opportunity!
I am so so sorry for your loss. That is terrible about your friend, and thinking of you on the anniversary of your loss as well. I feel so bad that I fell off the wagon… I tell others that the key is doing it every day, even if you just phone it in… just the act of doing it and proving to yourself you can is so empowering… but then, it works the other way too, ya know. I would LOVE that you retake it when the timing is right. Beryl and I should try to set it so you can re-activate the emails whenever you want to challenge yourself… hmmm… I’ll discuss that with her! Drop me a note when you are gonna do it! Maybe it’ll be the right time for me to do it too!
I think that it is the real and human experience of making the choice of Muchness everyday that makes this experience strong. Because my personal experience tells me that it is a choice and some days it is easy to choose and some days it takes strength and courage to choose. So, IMHO, I appreciate the honestly. 🙂
Thanks Piper. talk about honest… look out for tomorrows post… 🙂
Progress, indeed.
And you’re not an inspiration because you’re happy and glittery all the time, every second of every day, but because you show us how to do it, through your very lovely and human example, when it’s hard to occupy that “muchness” space without denying that it’s sometimes difficult. After all, it’s about finding and re-finding, right? So that it’s always a seeking, rather than just occupying a space you accomplish once and never waver from. Sometimes sparkles are brightest when we admit dullness or darkness around us and take the deep breath and time and commitment to shine up from that midst. It’s not that you’re some perfect example of HAPPINESS FOREVER (who could be? You’d be exhausted _and_ crazy_), but that you’re human and struggling with the rest of us, doing so honestly, luminously, _muchly_. That’s what gets into my blood and fills me with thankfulness for what you do. And thankful I am.
ooooh, thank you christy for your words… they are just what I need to hear today. really, truly. I’m kind of an overthinker and I get lost in circles in my mind about what I’m doing… but you’re right. I’m Finding My Muchness… along with the rest of you…. If this site was “found my muchness” it’d sorta be a little non-eventful, huh? 😉
Tova Gold, striking me with inspiration all over again. I’m so proud to call you a friend, albeit a mostly digital one, but I am just so proud to know you.
I love that you are taking time to just be, and observe the happy moments.
As always, I miss you mucho (muchier?) and hope to see you soon.
xoxoxoo
Zanderpants
Zanderpants- you’re hysterical. Thank you for your comment. 🙂 And I am proud to know you too… you inspire me – kinda reminding me of me at my most muchiest when I had the balls to just put my head down, hold my shoulders strong and just move headfirst into whatever stood in my path.
Stay muchy Zanderpants.
(That’s my version of Stay Gold Ponyboy.”