As I mentioned yesterday, Sunday was a monumental day. Here’s why.
On her day 2 challenge, April asked what was a great memory of a day with your family. That got me to thinking and I realized that every day since we started growing our family, that had the potential for greatness, has been clouded by what’s missing.
And once I realized what I was doing- what I was unknowingly cheating myself out of- I made a promise to myself to stop it.
Sunday was the annual balloon festival. We went once. In 2009. I was pregnant with the twins and couldn’t imagine they wouldn’t be ok. I remember the day distinctly. I looked around and saw tons of identical twins. That day might have been the one time I allowed myself to “go there” – imagining in my head what our life would be like with them. Would I dress them alike (I said no way- but I probably would have) . Would people look at us and ask about them like I saw someone ask about a pair of twins? Would be even be able to leave the house? Triple strollers are ridiculously large and Molly was still so young…. And to top off the day, I was so pregnant we left before the balloon launch because I needed a rest!
Those are the thoughts I’ve been associating with balloon festival.
Last year I was pregnant with Liat and was glad to have an excuse to stay home.
This year I was torn. I knew Molly would love it but I was not in the mood to be bombarded by those memories and visually assaulted by all the twins that are invariably all over the place at events like that.
And then I read Aprils post. And it was like a big swift kick upside the head. This summer is about new memories! It is about my beautiful family! What am I doing?!?!?
So, I threw on a sequined tank and mini skirt, tied my Muchness band around my wrist, packed our sunscreen and lunch and hit the road to the balloon festival.
And it was a beautiful, fun and surprisingly relaxing day! I won’t lie- I saw lots of twins and had mild flashbacks to 2009, but I didn’t let it in. New memories are what I made that day.
And we stayed for the balloon launch. And Molly loved it too.
When we left. Those girls were EXHAUSTED!
Gorgeous! Good for you Tova! I will try extra hard at Halloween to find the muchness…although I never really liked it even before our loss. ;0) I promise to find something muchy. Hold me to it, ok?!
Oh, I will H.
If Youre already thinking of Halloween you have more than enough time to bring The Muchness into it!
I teared up when I read this. Wanna know why, because I have been doing the same thing. I make everyday about family, but I don’t use my fullest potential, I’m aware I don’t. I am still so stuck in my sadness over the losses. My dad, and my boys. l’m glad we all have each other reminding ourselves to continue on. Tova, I’m glad I ‘met’ you…even though I really haven’t. It’s a long road, but you have already helped me so much. Thank you for sharing this insight.
OH MY GOSH what a great story! I’m glad my muchness moment helped. Great picture of the balloon launch too-wow! I wanna go next year!
Thanks April! The balloons are awesome. You should definitely see if there is one in your area…. They travel all through the summer months…
Tova, I think I’ve been to that balloon festival…years ago my parents brought me and a friend. I think I was in high school. Is it in some crazy town in north jersey? I keep thinking north west jersey for some reason.
It’s amazing!
Glad you enjoyed it and are starting to create an amazing experiences again. 🙂 hugs
Yupo. That festival. Next year, you’re invited to join us!!! It’s hot and crowded but we just got there late in the aftertnoon a few hours before the balloon launch. It was awesome.:)
This is awesome. Good for you!
This is so great, and I agree, April’s post was a wonderful reminder that we need to progress forward, not just stay in the now or the past.
I love that you put on that sequins and strutted your stuff at the festival, a fun new memory for all of you.
I friggin wear sequins a lot. you can see my bag hanging on the stroller handle. When the sun shines on it it’s like Saturday Night Fever on a tuesday afternoon. People who dont know me will sometimes even say to me “oh, you’re really sparkly today”… I’ve taken to responding “yeah… thats sorta my thing…I even blog about it.” and I leave it at that.
This is so inspirational!!! Def got choked up and felt my eyes fill with tears…good for you Tova xoxo+
thanks Yvette!! and thanks for not taking my 7 cents. 🙂
It is good to replace sad memories with happy ones. You don’t forget the sad ones, but they lose their spot on the importance scale. Beautiful pics and a great story 🙂
….their spot on the importance scale. I like that. Thank you Ellen!