Tova’s Blog

Yeah Baby— We’re Back!

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GREAT NEWS!! Hey guys! It’s Tova here and I want to tell you, we’re growing. It’s totally exciting (and kinda scary) that I’m starting to really see how this passion project can transform and take flight and how so many more people can be touched by The Muchness!

So many of you have been with me since day 1– when I slapped on a sequin top and, on a whim, challenged myself to wear sequins for 30 days. Watching how that random idea has blossomed into a beautiful community of Muchness seekers amazes and humbles me on a daily basis.

In order to make sure our site has the power to keep growing and new members could keep joining and blogging their Muchness Moments, my web developer has had to do some pretty fancy footwork behind the scenes. What was supposed to take a few hours has turned into a week of headaches and learning experiences.

But I am happy to announce that we are finally back up!!

***If you have posted in the last week and your posts are not showing up, I have many of them on backup ..Just let me know they’re missing and I’ll send them to you!

Thanks so much for your patience and understanding!! You guys are amazing and I can’t wait to see your Muchness Moments keep popping up on the site!

Tova’s Bschool Muchness Challenge- Day 3….and 4

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B-school is 4 days in and already it’s kicking my butt.

Yesterday, as part of a Bschool assignment, I created a survey that I was supposed to send to 20 people who know me. If you know me and haven’t filled it out, GO HERE AND DO IT!! (Even if you don’t know me well, or know me well, but only online, You can fill it out too! I appreciate all feedback!!)

To tide you over, here’s a an amazing quote by Danielle LePorta, writer of The Fire Starter Sessions, written by me, Muchness Style!!

Tova’s B-School Muchness Challenge!! Day 1!!! – I’m on a roll!!!

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When you find what you are passionate about, the only sane thing to do is grab that thing by the horns and hold on as tight as you can and let it take you where it needs to go. 

I have found my passion. 

It is The Muchness. 

What started as a fluke, soon turned into a healing tool, a thing that changed me. defined me, opened my eyes and my world to so many amazing people on so many journeys. For a year or more I have questioned what this ‘project’ is that I am building. Is it a hobby? A part-time unpaid job? A way to stay in touch with My Muchness? Yes, Yes and Yes. 

The fact is, I can’t not do this. There is nothing I have ever done in my life that combined all my talents and skills and passions and love of glitter better than this ‘project’ I’ve stumbled into. Helping people re-find their joy and re-find their identities after it’s been ripped away from them, either by specific circumstances or just by life in general, fills me with a sense of purpose that gives clarity and meaning to my own grief and suffering. 

And the time has come to stop tip-toeing around this ‘project’ – wondering what it is and what it could be. The time has come to put on my big-girl panties, let go of my fear, and announce that THIS, this ‘project’ is no longer just a project. It is everything. I want to put my whole heart and soul into this. When I say I really do want to fill the world with Muchness, I mean it. And I plan to make it happen. One sparkly, shiny sequin at a time. 

So, I am now a card carrying member of Marie Forleo‘s RHH B-school. That’s business school for women who want to make a difference and change the world.

I qualify.

I also paid for the privilege. 😉

Today was Day 1. And this is my many many pages of homework spitting out of the printer.

The Muchness IS My Muchness and documenting, even in a small way, one moment of B-school inspiration every day is going to keep me engaged and working towards my dream. Every time someone emails me a picture of their muchy turqoise and silver nailpolish and says this helped them pull their way out of an otherwise crappy day, I know I am on the right path.

Please cheer me on. I have a feeling this class is seriously gonna kick my ass. (in a good way.)

***Edited to add- I reread this and just want to clarify- I still totally have my day job… But unless I start finding positivity and creativity there like I used to feel, I honestly don’t know how long I will be able to sustain it. Very scary. But I can’t live my life ruled by fear. Not anymore.

 

Tova’s Muchness Challenge – Day 30 – Unexpected Side Effects Of The Muchness

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I’ll be honest.
I started this post with a very lofty goal of writing something deep and meaningful about how introducing The Muchness into my family has helped ease a lot of that tension that can sometimes build up below the surface of a marriage and the responsibility of raising kids.
But it was getting wordy . Imagine that.
Frankly, it’s just something I have been paying attention to lately. (Something I plan to talk about on MakePeaceAtHome.com‘s radio show- Booyah!) How so many of our fun family moments might never exist if not for The Muchness??
Today we went to the park. In the car there the four of us were belting that “This is not a drive-by” song. Even Liat pipes in with the by-ay-ay-ay-ay – so cute. It was totally fun and kookoo and awesome. TOTAL side effect of The Muchness.
We played at the park and then Molly asked if she could get ices.
Against all the sanity and logic in the world, we bought them EACH these huge firecracker ice pops that were, without a doubt, the most mess-likely option in the cart.
We sat with our 400 napkins in the sun on the grass, and bathed in the sticky, rainbow, disgusting drippies that poured out of the bottom of these ices onto all three of us.

This didn’t stress me out. This didn’t annoy me. This mess of gooey disgustingness… it very well should have not made me happy. You can see by the way I’m holding my hands that I seriously didn’t want to touch anything, But Liats hand- The one on my knee, that was like, coated in liquid sugar.
But I was happy. I was relaxed. I was laughing and making up songs about the baths we were all gonna have to take when we got home.
It works. Tap into it.
Love & Muchness!!
Tova

Tova’s Muchness Challenge – Day 27 – Paying attention to the moments

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This headshot challenge has been awesome. I plan to do a lil talking time video to tell you why tomorrow. (See, this is what my new teacher at Rich, Happy & Hot B-school – Marie Forleo calls “Social Accountability”… when we put our plans out there and then know that people are expecting us to follow through, we don’t want to look like a fool, so we are more likely to follow through. I, being kinda camera shy (yes, it’s true) would probably find some reason to flake on my plans to do a video conclusion about this 30 day Headshot challenge, but now that I’ve splattered this verbal commitment all over my homepage, I better deliver. No, really, I better. Or make me feel like a fool. Please. I’m serious.)

As I was saying- loving the headshot challenge because it’s been making me take stock of mu Muchness Moments even without realizing it.

I was sitting in our home office upstairs working when I heard Elie, downstairs, fart. Big time. (He doesn’t read my blog so he’ll never know I wrote this….hahaha)

I IMed him from upstairs:

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And me, at my computer, enjoying the moment, grateful as hell I wasn’t in the room with him. 🙂

….No time to waste!! B-school starts on Monday!! Gotta get prepped!!!!….

Tova’s Muchness Challenge – Day 26!!! You still with me?

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“Buy one pair  I’ll give you another pair for FREE!!”

Dude on the street musta yelled that 40,000 times today. And yesterday, and the day before that. And I pass this dude on the street, every day. It’s possible I’ve passed him every day for years. But I’ve never noticed. looking at his ghost town of a table, no one else did either.

Today, as I dashed out of work to grab some lunch I found myself waiting for the light to change and he was, like, all up in my ear. And right next to him in my ear was my brain with a little voice that said “Oh- remember? Liat spent 15 minutes the other day bashing your sunglasses against the pavement and now they’re more scratched up than a Real NJ Housewife after a catfight. Go look. Even if they’re ugly, you can muchify em.”

So I looked, And they weren’t ugly. So I asked, “How much?” and he replied “$10 a pair….. but you get one free so that comes out to $5 a pair.”

$5 a pair? That’s it? That’s half the price of the sushi I am about to go buy and that’ll be gone in 58 seconds!

I gave the guy a piece of advice: “You really should be yelling $5 a pair or 2 for $10.”

He looked at me funny and called out “Buy one pair and I’ll give you another pair for free!”

…. I guess he didn’t like my advice. Though seriously, If I knew the dude across the street from my office was selling $5 sunglasses, I’d be buying sunglasses like, at least once a week. But I guess he didn’t learn his sales techniques at Wharton Business School.

Anyhow, I needed to make up for lost sunglasses buying opportunities and purchased two pairs, for $10 each. And then I got 2 more pairs. For free. :-

Tova’s Muchness Challenge – Day 25- It’s Not a Headshot!!!

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Y’all know what my face looks like already. Today- no headshot. It’s something else I wanted to share with you.

I bought a groupon for some laser hair removal! I know! That is exactly what you were expecting to hear, right?!? I can see that bewildered look on your face… And now you’re wondering if I’m gonna do a 30 day laser hair removal challenge. Rest easy my friend, I will not.

I likely would not have thought about going for Laser Hair removal but I bought the groupon cuz it was a good deal, and the thought of never shaving my armpits again also seemed like a good deal. So today I went.

Turns out, the laser hair removal doctors office was in the very same building as the grief counselor I saw after I lost the twins. I didn’t see her for very long, since I found that, for me, sharing my feelings with other baby loss moms online was really the best therapy, but the few times I saw her were definitely helpful. Just having a place to say some of the things I needed to say out loud, being able to spill my guts to a stranger and not feel judged or like it made them uncomfortable to hear someone talk about their dead babies was incredibly helpful. She also left me with some insights that have stayed with me- particularly the concept of shadow sadness that can follow you, popping up when you don’t necessarily consciously expect it, just casting it’s darkness over you.  Recognizing it when it arrives has, so many times, helped me move through it without getting too buried underneath it.

Anyway, I’ve thought a few times about reaching out to her and sharing this community with her, but honestly, I didn’t think I’d actually ever do it.

But there I was, underarms burning like a mofo, I sat on the stairs and wrote her a note and included my hot-off-the-printing-press business card.

I slid the note through the mailbox of her darkened office, and I assume she’ll get it sometime tomorrow… and then visit the site…. and then read what I am writing… now… as I write it… so…. Hey Dr. K! 🙂