Y’all know what my face looks like already. Today- no headshot. It’s something else I wanted to share with you.
I bought a groupon for some laser hair removal! I know! That is exactly what you were expecting to hear, right?!? I can see that bewildered look on your face… And now you’re wondering if I’m gonna do a 30 day laser hair removal challenge. Rest easy my friend, I will not.
I likely would not have thought about going for Laser Hair removal but I bought the groupon cuz it was a good deal, and the thought of never shaving my armpits again also seemed like a good deal. So today I went.
Turns out, the laser hair removal doctors office was in the very same building as the grief counselor I saw after I lost the twins. I didn’t see her for very long, since I found that, for me, sharing my feelings with other baby loss moms online was really the best therapy, but the few times I saw her were definitely helpful. Just having a place to say some of the things I needed to say out loud, being able to spill my guts to a stranger and not feel judged or like it made them uncomfortable to hear someone talk about their dead babies was incredibly helpful. She also left me with some insights that have stayed with me- particularly the concept of shadow sadness that can follow you, popping up when you don’t necessarily consciously expect it, just casting it’s darkness over you. Recognizing it when it arrives has, so many times, helped me move through it without getting too buried underneath it.
Anyway, I’ve thought a few times about reaching out to her and sharing this community with her, but honestly, I didn’t think I’d actually ever do it.
But there I was, underarms burning like a mofo, I sat on the stairs and wrote her a note and included my hot-off-the-printing-press business card.
I slid the note through the mailbox of her darkened office, and I assume she’ll get it sometime tomorrow… and then visit the site…. and then read what I am writing… now… as I write it… so…. Hey Dr. K! 🙂
Related Posts
MUCHY WHEELS!!!
Have you pulled away from the outer edges of your body?
A few days ago I went to a vision board making party with some inspiring friends. One of the women was talking about a friend who’d passed and how this had prompted her to sit with her partner digging deep and really answering this question. I couldn’t get it off my mind. It’s a simple clichèd question we toss around but don’t remember to guide our day to day lives by the answers. So I printed it up, tossed it into a $1 frame and put it in a prominent spot in my home. Thinking I’ll make it into a glitter art piece. But in the meantime, it’s seriously keeping my focused on how I’m spending my time on this earth. This does, of course, mean I’ll be doing even less dishes and laundry. Lolol. Anyway, what’s one thing you might one day wish you would’ve spent more time doing? Or less time?
Conversation while driving kiddos to school: Big one: mom, you know money is just paper, you can’t rely on it for anything. And then you die and you can’t do anything with it anyway. Mom: that’s why you have a will. To tell people what to do with your money. Lil one: what if you’re poor and have no money? Mom: you still have a will in case you have kids so you can say who should take care of them if they’re not old enough to take care of themselves. Lil one: like if you have a kid when you’re 90? Big one: you can only have a kid till you’re 50. Lil one: so mommy has 10 more years to have another baby. Big one: but mommys not gonna have another baby because she’s not praying to god to give her one and also she’s happy with the kids she already has. Mom: you learned you have babies when you pray to god to give you one? Big one: yeah, that’s how my teacher (who recently gave birth) got one. She prayed for it. Mom: ya know there’s more to it than praying, right? There’s like, science and stuff…. I’ll get you a book. …. On its surface, I get this— I do send them to a religious school…. but I can’t help but think of the whole “my baby would’ve lived if I’d just prayed harder” nonsense that permeates the babyloss communities. The complicated pregnancies that resulted in healthy survivors and the subtle but unintended arrogance of mothers crediting their prayers for their luck, directly shaming those with worse luck who believed in prayer with just as much blind faith but still lost. #postlosslife – amazing how many things hearken back to the lessons learned. Any book suggestions or should I just do what my mom did and leave a copy of “Our Bodies, Ourselves” in plain site at all times? I think I turned out relatively healthy on that education.
OMG. This Shoe. I’m speechless.
🙂 glad to have facilitated that.
you mean the armpits hurting like a mofo?? 🙂
hahaha
Awesomeness, muchness style.