My commitment

I’ve been feeling so off-track lately. Two weeks ago I felt right in the zone of muchness and then, boom, in a minute I felt more lost than I have in years. I’ve spent the last week at a 9-5 job and it has been so.not.muchy.
I don’t even say that to be cute. The people are lovely. The work is fine but something about the environment feels like it is the most absolute wrong place for me.
But I need to earn a living.
And trying to figure that put while simultaneously follow my purpose is a real complicated clusterf*ck of “how to?”
I’ve stayed away from talking about the big M word ($) on the blog because I told myself it wasn’t something “appropriate” to talk about. But the fact is, it’s a reality of life, and unless I learn to make peace with the idea that earning money is not a “bad” thing, I’m really never going to earn any.
The Muchness was sent to me as a gift from my girls and it has been the path that guides me to my passion, which is helping people find theirs. I can’t fulfill my purpose when I’m worried about paying bills.
Do I have a solution? Not yet. But it’s time to start being honest. Because this conflict has been causing me a lot of pain. A lot.
Today I went to the cemetery to see Sunshine and Daisy. I hadn’t been there in over two years. I felt like they were calling me and I needed to go to them.
Their rocks are still there. Faded.

I sat next to them and talked. I cried. I asked them to help me see the answers. To help me make the right choices and send me signs to let me know I am.
While there, I pulled out my laptop to write them a letter. It was a commitment letter. A promise to keep doing this work, to stay connected to my light, my talents, my joys- and a promise to continue to share that with others. That means blogging more often. When I’m up, when I’m down. It means sharing my voice even when it shakes. It means forgiving myself for the things I wish I did better and allowing myself to be real and vulnerable so others (and i) can see that that is not weakness. It is life.
As soon as I finished writing that commitment letter, two white butterflies flew past me, and as I lifted my tear filled eyes to follow them I saw two birds, flying together across the sky. They were the only birds I saw the entire time I sat there. I completely lost it.
Then, I pulled out some stickers and decorated their rocks.


Then, I turned and looked at the other baby graves. When I was there three years ago it looked deserted. Like no one ever visited these little babies. But something was different. There were more tombstones. Stuffed animals rested against grave markers. Directly in front of my babies was a headstone and on the back, facing my girls, was a collection of stickers, clearly stuck there randomly by a child- likely a sibling of the deceased baby. The stickers were worn and weathered but when I looked close I could make out the image on a few. This one was the clearest:

A mama bear with her two baby cubs.

There was also a new grave. Decorated with a collection of daisies and sunshiny yellow glass stones. And two butterflies.

Somehow, I know everything is gonna be ok.


Yay!! It’s International Muchness Day!!! (& my birthday! who knew?)


Make my day?

Share a #Muchness Moment on your Twitter or Facebook wall!

Make a Minute of Muchness Video!

Make my birthday wishes come true by reaching 500 LIKES in facebook! Invite your friends to LIKE the Finding My Muchness Facebook Page by posting THIS as your status:

It’s International Muchness Day! Need to add some sparkle, color and inspiration to your life? Go Find YOUR Muchness and LIKE Finding My Muchness’s Page! 

Forever grateful for each and every one of you for all the support, encouragement and validation you have given me these last few years. I would NEVER have been able to follow this path to my own Muchness without you. I hope I am able to inspire all of you even a tiny fraction of the amount you’ve inspired me.

xoxox, Tova

PS – Thats the cake my awesomely talented cousin made me last year… YUP! Thats a Muchness Band on top!! 🙂 …It’s even Kosher! haha! Tell her Tova sent you….


The Minute of Muchness Prizes!

Tomorrow is the big day!

The 2nd ANNUAL MUCHNESS DAY!!! (and my birthday- tee hee! Thank you, thank you all…. it’s nice to finally be able to drink legally! 🙂 )

Are you working on your Minute Of Muchness video? I hope so, but if not, don’t worry! The whole thing shouldn’t take you more than 90 seconds to do, soup to nuts!

Don’t think too hard, just go with your gut. It could be anything from happy clothes, cooking, reading, connecting with friends, creative outlets, even inspiring others with your honesty and voice, – whatever puts that feeling in your belly that lets you know you’re connecting to your inner Muchness! Be yourself and if you feel nervous or weird about talking into the camera, do it anyway! Feel the rush and then congratulate yourself on stepping out of your comfort zone to share some of the beauty that makes you, YOU!

Aaaaaand…. I got Prizes!

For the very first person that posts their Minute Of Muchness Video – it’s a Muchy water bottle! Ya know- staying hydrated is very important to a Muchy state of mind!

What else? Someones gonna win this adorable, fun, colorful and sparkly bracelet!

It’s the kind of thing you can throw on on a dreary day when you feel like crap and decided to wear all black and then  immediately, as if by some form of Muchness magic, you will be in a better mood. Results Guaranteed!

And, because I’m feeling generous, I decided to throw in this other prize… BUT, it will only be rewarded if we meet our goal of posting TEN – Minute Of Muchness Videos.

Check it out:

Pretty Muchtastic, right? It’s a three piece make-up pouch / clutch set – Brand new with Tags, from Nine West. It not only has sequins and shine and animal print, it’s also got the inspiring words Cherish • Treasure • Precious on each of the bags. Love it!

Wanna see MY Minute of Muchness? Check it out!

Upload your video to Youtube titled “Your name’s Minute of Muchness” and then share it on our FB wall!

Kablamo! You’re in!

Here’s the pretty looking directions for reference!