Talking to babyloss parents about their joy (a video)

What an amazing weekend. For almost a year I have been looking forward to speaking at Forever In Our Hearts- a baby loss memorial walk in Wisconsin. It was such a thrill to be asked and I worked on my speech for months and months leading up to the event. And then, a week before I was set to fly- I trashed everything I’d written and started from scratch. I knew that to be impactful and also not completly freeze up in fear, I’d have to talk from my heart. I’d have to figure out and organize the thoughts and beliefs and experiences I wanted to share and then I just had to get up there – let my girls guide me- and share them.
And I think that’s what I did.

I poured my heart into it and I’d love if you would take a few minutes and watch my talk.

I was so grateful for this opportunity and afterwards, so many people came up and thanked me.
Thanked me.
One woman thanked me for giving her permission to find joy.
Nobody needs my permission. It’s inside of you. 

Another thanked me for reminding her its ok to bring light back into her home.
Friends, it’s OK. That’s where the light SHOULD be. 

And others asked me how.
How do you start?

How do you start to see the moments of light when they’re trapped in and filled with the murkiness and weight of grief?

And I told them-
it’s when we are trapped in the utter darkness that the tiniest little spark gives off the most light.
If you’re looking for a glorious sunrise in the middle of a star-less night, you will continue to be disappointed by the darkness.


Instead, search for the tiniest little star and move towards it. As you get closer, you’ll realize it’s bigger than you thought, and surrounded by many other little stars you couldn’t see before. Keep exploring those tiny little stars. You may not find the sunset you thought you were seeking, but you may just discover the light and beauty of a moon you didn’t know was there.

What can potty training teach you about your Muchness?

When’s the last time you intentionally did something you are scared of? There was a long time in my life where I couldn’t answer that question. I really couldn’t remember.
I may have found myself in circumstances that frightened me, but intentionally stepping into them? No Thank You. Life has enough stressors and surprises.

Recently I’ve been potty training my 2.5 year old. She took to it really easily- told me when she had to pee and even sometimes went herself.

But, like many kids, when it comes time for, ya know, #2, she freaks the eff out. Tells me she needs a pull-up, cries and screams of sheer terror that I can truly see in her face.

For a little while I indulged her, put her in the pull-up so she could go to her spot and do her business and then come to me for changing but after a week or so I decided enough was enough.

I made her go on the toilet. She was terrified. I soothed her. I held her hands. I told her she was strong and awesome and a big girl. I told her I’d be proud. I sang her a song. I read her a book. I tried to calm her nerves and the whole time I was thinking to myself “Dude- I didn’t know pooping on the potty could be so scary! How many times is she gonna have to do this before she loses the fear? …and how can I write about this aha moment on my blog without my kid hating me forever?”

And then, this weekend, I spoke live, in front of an audience , and I was – no pun intended – shitting bricks. I knew I wanted to do it, I’d been envisioning it for months- I wanted to face the fear, but every molecule of tension was bubbling up inside me. I tried some half-assed meditation looking thing I read about online, I ate an assortment of nuts and cravings before to keep my blood sugar balanced so I didn’t end up in “psycho-tova-needs-to-take-a-breath-and-oh-yeah-your-hands-are-super-shaky” mode, and I tried to focus on how proud of myself I’d be when I finished.

And then, I spoke. And, for the most part, it came easy. I was more nervous before and after the speech than I was in the middle of it -even when I lost my train of thought and decided to say “OMG- I just forgot what I was gonna say” to buy me some time to remember.

And I was proud of myself. I wanted to go around and give everyone hi-fives afterwards and say “I did it! I gave my speech!” like Liat does when she so proudly tells her dad that she has pooped on the potty (only different.)

Ultimately, it’s a lot easier to ask for a pull-up and go hide in a corner than face your fears. But in doing that you also miss out on the rewards (with potty training, there are many, for everyone involved.) Eventually, Liat will become accustomed to doing her business by herself. And eventually, I will become accustomed to getting up on stage and speaking. Because in the end, it’s what I want to do, and facing the fear just makes it that much more rewarding.

In what area of your life have you been allowing yourself to slip into a pull-up and hide in the corner even though you know you are capable of “being a big girl” and pushing yourself to accomplish more? Eventually those things that bring terror today can just be one of those things you do without giving it much thought at all. (Except in public restrooms. I give that a lot of thought. We all have our boundaries.)

Relaxing after my speech. So proud of my myself…


Wanna see my speech? I opened the day, speaking to a room full of brides about maintaining their Muchness during stress of the wedding planning process.

note: The beginning was cut off. I thanked them for coming to my special day, 😉 and then told them where the term Muchness originated from…

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Signature Muchness Cocktails!!

I was so excited to have you join us at our  Virtual Event / Cocktail Party / Welcome to the Muchness Meets Photography Group Challenge How-to Meeting that I called my Muchy friend Dawn, who is also a fantabulous vegan chef and asked her to help me create some Signature Muchness Cocktails!! You’ve got a week to prepare your ingredients and join us at the virtual event!!

We had a lot of fun making these videos, and I hope to make more in the future so let me know what you think! If you like the videos, please share them and invite your friends to come along and take the Muchness Challenge with you! We’ve got a bunch of sign ups already but the more the muchier!!

Have an idea for a cocktail with a muchy twist you want to share? Tell us about it in the comments and who knows? Maybe that’ll be episode #3!! (FYI-The current filming schedule calls for a “How to make Brussel Sprouts Muchtastic” Tutorial so if you’d rather see that…. ) (PS- I’m serious.)

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Episode 1: Muchness Mojitos

Ingredients: Rum, Lime, Blueberries (some frozen), Lemon-Lime soda, Kosher Grape Juice ice cubed… and don’t forget your muddler and lollypop!!!


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Episode 2: Muchness Martinis

Ingredients: flavored vodka of your choice, Ice, Raspberries, Martini Shaker… and you totally need your Rock Candy Stirrer!! No olives allowed! (But if you must, they HAVE to have those muchy lil’ red centers, of course.)

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—-What??? You haven’t yet signed up to join us in our Group Muchness Meets Photography Challenge?? It’s gonna be the talk of the town! (But more importantly, it’s going to help you remember how to see yourself and your world through Muchness colored glasses.  It’s easy and fun and it’ll change your life. Go sign up. You won’t regret it.)