First, I want to say that I love reading everyones Muchness’s today. So amazing to get a bunch of women documenting the things that make them feel, well, their Muchness. I feel like it’s my mission to get this blog OUT THERE- read by more people and seen so they can be as inspired as I know so many of our current readers are. (I get emails… they’re inspired… just so ya know 😉 )
I took a picture for my Muchness Pic of the Day today and when I came upstairs into my mess of an office to post it, I saw something I’ve looked at a million times but never actually saw until today.
On my wall is a calendar. It’s got pictures of handbags all over it and it was a gift from my sister-in-law for Hannukah, 2008. I hung it because I like the pictures, not because I need to look at a calendar on my office wall. Also, I don’t spend a ton of time in my office, but, well, I spend a lot of time in my office. Somehow, it escaped my attention until just this moment that this is what my Calendar has been turned to, since, well, see the pic…
That’s September, 2009.
Thats the month we lost Sunshine and Daisy.
For a moment after I noticed my head felt warm and my chest clenched and I almost felt like I was in a different place and time. Like time had stood still or something. Did I do that subconciously? I’m trying to remember if I did notice in the past but decided to keep it there anyway. But I don’t remember. But now that I am writing about it, I will remember, the next time I pay enough attention to the stuff around me and realize it’s still there. Because, for some reason, I want to keep it there. I don’t want to take it down. So I wont. A part of my heart will forever be stuck in September 2009. And my calendar will be stuck there too.
Happy Mothers Day to all my Mama friends- Those with Babies here on earth and especially those with Babies taken too soon. A bittersweet day for a lot of people. I hope it brings peace…
We had a calendar on our wall for over a year after our girls died. I remember noticing when I went in March the next year to see what day their birthday was on. I was confused for a moment, until I realized it was still March of 2009, not 2010. It was like our whole world stopped and thinking like changing calendars didn’t matter anymore.