Tova’s Blog

The Muchness in Muchkins

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I was recently in Target looking for shoes for my kids. As I perused the racks of sparkly Muchness, debating internally the ramifications of buying the Hello Kitty ones (personal promise not to slather my kids in licensed characters vs. how much easier the morning dressing routine is when I can I slather them in licensed characters vs. why should I pay more just cuz there is a licensed character vs. ooooh! So shiny!!)  I overheard a four year old girl begging her mother for a pair of glittery sandals. Her mom kept saying “No. You cannot pick those. Choose another pair. Those are “gaudy.”

I’m sorry. Did she just tell her kid that the glittery sandals are “GAUDY?!?”

Ya know what’s gaudy? The word gaudy. Seriously. Was is this, 1994? The word she meant to use is Tacky. And tacky can be AWESOME!!

Case in point: when I looked up “tacky kids sandals” on google, this is the adorableness that popped up:

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And oddly, when I googled “gaudy kids sandals” this popped up:

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My conclusion? Gaudy is an outdated word. Don’t teach it to your kids.
(As an aside- I looove Pegi Bundy)

Back to my point— it made me sad that this mom was subjecting her kid to her own Muchlessness- squelching her Muchkin’s Muchness like a gaudy, glittery bug to be smashed.

So sad. Don’t do this. Not to your kids OR to yourself! If you look at something and it makes you smile, don’t second guess and squelch your Muchness Moments. Embrace them! If you love it, its beautiful. Don’t insert your perception of other’s opinion before you even have time to enjoy your own opinion! Find the confidence to wear the shoes that make your insides happy when you look at your feet! And in the name of all that is good and holy- DO NOT impose some silly insecurities on your muchy kids. Let their imaginations and confidence soar! Lord knows there will be more than enough circumstances in life that will try to steal their Muchness. For the time being, let them embrace their Sparkly goodness!!!!!!

Summer Muchness- The unexpected side effects.

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I feel like I haven’t posted here in so long. Whenever I go for a streak without posting I get all up in my head, wondering if it’s cuz I’m losing touch with The Muchness, but in reality, I’ve just been so busy! I have been meaning to share so many Muchness Moments that happened this summer but I can’t seem to find the time, between, ya know, MAKING Muchness Moments and um, sleeping. and also, my computer died. That was a drama. Now, it’s mostly all fixed. Mostly.

But anyway, I wanted to share with you two things that I did this summer in the name of Muchness. Things I pushed myself out of my comfort zone to do. Things I would NOT have done in years past. Behold- Two Muchness Highlights of my summer:

Me, jumping as high as I can at a trampoline Center.

What to me, is most compelling about this picture is what is NOT in the picture. That would be all the other moms, sitting on the benches with their shoes on checking their phones. Pre-muchness, ya know who would have been on the bench next to them? Yes! That’s right! Yours truly!

This next one is even better, because this is something I haven’t done since, um, Maybe sometime in the 1980’s. No Kidding.

Yes- That is a diving board, and yes, that is me jumping off of it.

Why am I showing you this stuff? Because pre-muchness, there was no muchy little elf sitting on my shoulder, whispering in my ear “Go on, do it! Who cares what those other people think? Who cares that only teenage boys are jumping off the diving board? Who cares that all the other moms are sitting around the edge hanging their feet in the pool? Who cares if water shoots up your nose and the water is cold and you flop on your ass? Go for it! I dare you! Be Muchtastic!”…. but that is what The Muchness has brought to my life. I’ve spent the summer pushing myself to enjoy the days. I’ll admit there were some that overwhelmed me, and I even spent a bit of this summer wearing unmuchy flats… But overall, the side effects of The Muchness were really visible in my days. As we head into the Muchness meets photography Challenge I am excited not only to share it wuth others but also to participate myself. I want to get back to blogging my Muchness Moments, Daily. Because when I look, I see them, and when I see them, they multiply… I’m thinking next year? Parasailing. Ha!

 

MUCHNESS TV!!!

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Signature Muchness Cocktails!!

I was so excited to have you join us at our  Virtual Event / Cocktail Party / Welcome to the Muchness Meets Photography Group Challenge How-to Meeting that I called my Muchy friend Dawn, who is also a fantabulous vegan chef and asked her to help me create some Signature Muchness Cocktails!! You’ve got a week to prepare your ingredients and join us at the virtual event!!

We had a lot of fun making these videos, and I hope to make more in the future so let me know what you think! If you like the videos, please share them and invite your friends to come along and take the Muchness Challenge with you! We’ve got a bunch of sign ups already but the more the muchier!!

Have an idea for a cocktail with a muchy twist you want to share? Tell us about it in the comments and who knows? Maybe that’ll be episode #3!! (FYI-The current filming schedule calls for a “How to make Brussel Sprouts Muchtastic” Tutorial so if you’d rather see that…. ) (PS- I’m serious.)

[youtube_sc url=”http://youtu.be/ORioWlQIRuo”]

Episode 1: Muchness Mojitos

Ingredients: Rum, Lime, Blueberries (some frozen), Lemon-Lime soda, Kosher Grape Juice ice cubed… and don’t forget your muddler and lollypop!!!

 

[youtube_sc url=”http://youtu.be/YE4lwkWN9TA”]

Episode 2: Muchness Martinis

Ingredients: flavored vodka of your choice, Ice, Raspberries, Martini Shaker… and you totally need your Rock Candy Stirrer!! No olives allowed! (But if you must, they HAVE to have those muchy lil’ red centers, of course.)

Thanks so much for watching! Wanna see more? Sign up for weekly-ish Muchness updates straight to your inbox! They’re FREE!

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—-What??? You haven’t yet signed up to join us in our Group Muchness Meets Photography Challenge?? It’s gonna be the talk of the town! (But more importantly, it’s going to help you remember how to see yourself and your world through Muchness colored glasses.  It’s easy and fun and it’ll change your life. Go sign up. You won’t regret it.) 

The path may lead us where we never expected

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I remember, as a kid in jewish sleep away camp, we had a 45 minute “learning” session each morning where they taught us about the scripture of the week, or some life lesson that we should apply to our camp experience. In all honesty, I never paid attention. Ever. I’d sit on the lawn and pull out the fattest pieces of grass from the earth and them split them lengthwise down the center. Or, I’d find little bits of tree bark and branches and pick off the outer layer of bark bit by bit till the hard wood insides were exposed. OCD much?

I went to sleep away camp from the time I was 5 years old (Not a typo) until I was 16. 11 years of 45 minute daily lectures and I remember just one. One. Perhaps I should not be bragging about that fact … but alas, it’s basically true.

So what is the one lecture I remember? Well, actually , I don’t remember. Pathetic, I know. Of the 45 minutes I remember just one- but I remember it well. The person giving the lecture said, very emphatically,  that “We are all put on this earth for a reason. We all have a gift, a talent – SOMETHING – that makes us special and we should find that thing and live a life that honors it. It is the reason we are born.” I think when I heard this I was about 10 or 11 years old. I clearly remember thinking “My thing is that I can draw and make artsy stuff. I am an artist. I know this. That is what is my thing. I am very lucky that I already know what it is.These girls around me probably don’t know their thing. But I know mine. And that is just one reason I don’t have to listen to this lecture. It has nothing to do with my life’s purpose.”

And that is pretty much, the path my life took. At 12 years old I started my fashion portfolio and set my sights on studying Fashion Design at FIT, like my mom, and my dad’s mom. And at 17 I did just that. And that has been my career and I am and have always been really good at it. (Toot. Toot. That is me, and my horn.)

But these last few years have changed me. I still love art and creating and still want  need to do it in my life. But I have also found that I have other passions, other skills, and an overwhelming desire to bring joy to other people’s lives. This desire used to be met through my art and design. When, in my 20’s, I started my own company designing unique and inspired handbags, I truly felt like I was using my talents to bring people joy. And I was. I remember the names of my two biggest fans. They wrote to me all the time and always wanted the next, newest bag I would be designing. People would email me to tell me how perfect the bag they’d bought was, how it was the reason they’d had an incredible evening. Stuff like that rocked my world.

Now, it is my family and it is this- this Muchness- that rocks my world. Talking to people – connecting with them and helping them feel joy again, see light again, appreciate themselves and their individuality, this is what lights me up. This is not a gift I knew I had. It’s not what I would have thought at 11 years old sitting on the grass. It’s still not a gift I’m sure I have, but it’s a calling that I have to answer. The fact that I have somehow managed to create a space in this tiny little corner of the internet where I have combined my artistic talent with this new passion, blogging about the pretty little sparkly things that that make me smile, and know that it is bringing a smile to someone else’s face and inspiring them to bring a smile to someone else’s face… I feel like it’s no accident. I believe this message is one I was put here to share. I believe it’s the message my girls were brought here to help me find. I believe it is the reason they were born, and it is my mission to fulfill their purpose.

I want to thank every single one of you who reads or comments on my posts, who writes on your Muchness blog, tags me with pictures of your pretty sparkly Muchness Moments… Your support and encouragement remind me and inspire me every day that though this may not be the path I expected my talents and gifts to take, and though I often feel like I am stumbling and fumbling to follow that path in the way I am meant to, it is an amazing path and I am excited and humbled to be on it. Thank you for being here with me.

 

Muchness Meets Photography Group Challenge!!

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Hiya! So, a ton of people have asked for more info about the upcoming
Muchness meets Photography Group Challenge
so I’ve re-created some of those conversations and inserted them into this FAQ!!!

Q: What is this event?
A: The Muchness Challenge is all about finding or creating and documenting the joy and light and color and creativity in your every day. This event is a guided 30 Day MUCHNESS Challenge.

Q: Tell me more.
A: Every morning, starting September 1st, and ending September 30, you will receive an email telling you the MUCHNESS challenge for the day. These are short, creative exercises designed to get your brain moving in muchy, fun and colorful ways! You’ll also get a helpful and inspiring photography tip or challenge that you can incorporate into your daily MUCHNESS pic!

Q: What do I do with the pics I take?
A: You will upload them onto your own personal blog on findingmymuchness.com

Q: That sounds difficult.
A: It’s not. The Finding My Muchness member area is super easy to navigate. You just click the big pink button and type your post.

Q: That sounds time consuming.
A: It’s not- you can do it in just a two minutes a day – and you can do it from your smartphone!

Q: So what’s the deal with live virtual event I heard about?
A: On August 28, Beryl and I will be hosting a live online event. You will be invited to watch and hear us discuss the event and we will explain all the technical details of how the site works. You’ll also hear about some upcoming contests, bonuses and giveaways we have planned! You’ll be able to type in questions live as we go! If you can’t make it to the live event, dont worry. You can catch the reruns via a link we’ll send to your inbox, as well as written instructions/ recap.

Q: Is this just for babyloss moms?
A: Heck no! The MUCHNESS is here for anyone and everyone who had a desire to get in touch with their inner Muchness and see the light and joy around them.

Q: Does it cost money to participate?
A: Nope. Not a penny.

Q: I don’t know what to post about.
A: That’s why it’s a guided Challenge… Beryl and I, as well as the other Muchness Challengers will guide you through and make it fun and inspiring!

Q: OK- so it sounds cool but I’m still not sure I’m up for it.
A: Really? OK, fair enough. Here’s the deal. You should sign up anyway. Once you’re signed up you’ll get to read the creative daily challenges we’ve assembled. The challenge is about YOU. Even if the emails just serve to inspire you to think about your day from a Muchy perspective, and you never post a thing, that’s ok. Don’t misunderstand, documenting and sharing your Muchness Moments is a tremendous part of the healing and joy that The Muchness Challenge can bring into your life, but our goal is to help you feel better about your day, and simply reading the emails will help you do that.

Sign up HERE

Still have more questions? Read more here or post your questions in the comments below! Would love to answer them!

Musings on stress, and other thoughts that always pivot back to babyloss.

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For some reason, today, I just can’t concentrate. I’m sitting at my desk and my brain keeps inserting me into this scene I have cemented in my brain. It was a beautiful day – September 23, 2009 and Elie and I were sitting on the grass outside the hospital. Daisy was already gone and we knew we’d be losing Sunshine. We were so calm, the two of us- in shock, I realize now.
Sometimes, when I feel stressed, my brain just goes there. Or it just plops me in the middle of that hospital- the waiting room, the ultrasound room, the hallways. I don’t even have to be thinking of the girls, it just happens- a split second where I’m working or online and then -boom- my brain is there. It’s almost like a flashback and it is as strong and clear as if I was just there yesterday. I’ve never experienced that sensation about anything else. I hate it.
After the twins died, stress and I developed a new understanding. Stress was no longer welcome. I had two dead babies. Mundane stress couldn’t hold a candle to that. For about 2 years it worked. But somehow I feel like it’s catching up to me. I think this because of the frequency with which my brain is dropping me into these scenes from the past. The moments that I lived through so they could shape me into a better person.

I feel like I’m not making certain choices in my personal life that honor the enormity of those changes. I’m standing in my own way and I don’t know why.

I do know why. Fear.

Yuck.

I lived through the death of my babies. That is like, a human beings worst fear, realized. I am strong and so capable. So why am I letting myself be limited by fear?

My mother was widowed at 35 years old- my age now, with 5 children, 3 of them under 7 years old, and her mother survived the holocaust. I mean, really. And that’s just one side of my family. I come from a long line of incredibly strong, powerful women.
I need to stop my belly aching and get my shit together to make proactive, fearless, smart choices.

This is me. Putting this out there for who the hell knows who to read. I’m gonna hold myself accountable. Please, somebody, kick my ass if I don’t.

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Brain Farts.

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I’ve been having a lot of them lately and they are making it hard to sit and write about all the muchness that is actually happening all around me- Big things, from working on MUCHNESS TV(!!!!!) to little things, like how incredible the gourmet chocolate shop, neuhaus, in the mall was. And the more I try to get to the bottom of this case of mental flatulence, the worse it gets.

It is also August. The shadow of September looms in these warm months. I am missing the twins a lot. Thinking about them. I wonder if it would be different if I’d chosen a different path after they died. If I did what so many people try to do- take that pain, lock it in a box, and move forward, never to speak of it in polite company. If I didn’t create this beautiful project as a tribute to them, if I didn’t create a place for me to speak of them. Maybe I’d think of them less? Maybe I’d be further along in my grief? Further Behind?

Anyway, hoping that just releasing some of my feelings will, um, release some of my feelings so I can get back in the swing of things. Because really, things are swinging!

Today I went to the Mall. Not a place I head to frequently but I needed to pickup some Thank You Cards and knew Papyrus would have some super Muchy ones (I was right)

…and a whole host of other Muchtastic glittery cards!

I was feeling sorta ‘ehhh’ about all the stuff I mentioned above when this chocolate shop caught my eye.

OMG— I loved how they just filled these cases with perfectly perfect mounds of mini chocolates all lined up just so perfectly. I walked in and the woman that worked there gave me this one to try. I thought it was poetic, since it was actually sparkly! I’ve never seen sparkly chocolate!

And if I tell you, that hint was devine!

So I bought two more and left the shop, only to be drawn into LUSH- that shop that sells all natural creams and lotions and potions and soaps.

So, this is why I never head to the mall. I always end up romanced into buying shit I never knew I wanted and didn’t know I needed. I walked into the store because the stuff looked beautiful and colorful and Muchy and I was needing a little of that.

Look- they even have gold bath salts!!

The women offered to give me a mini ‘treatment” on my hands using one of their rubs.

It felt nice.

It smelled good.

I bought it.

Then, they showed me their color wheel. She sat me down and spun the wheel while I held my eyes shut. She instructed me to open my eyes and select the three colors that I felt drawn to, today. Not my favorite colors,per sé, but the colors which grabbed me by the Muchness Meter. (My words. 😉 )

These are the three I selected:

She then “read” me my feelings for the day and kaboom! They were right on target!

After that, I told her about The Muchness Bands which ALSO have a color associated with a positive and inspiring feeling!!! I told her how when people wear their muchness bands they are reminded to look around for their Muchness Moments and see the light and positivity all around them!! (Are you a Member of the Finding My Muchness Community? Log in to your account for info on a special weekend sale on Muchness Bands!!!, Not a member, sign up now!!)

As I am wrapping up this post, I received a text from a friend telling me that this site has inspired her friend to do something huge!Love how the positive energy comes just when I need it the most!

 

 

Rainbows & hearts & bunnies = Muchness for 7 year old boy

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Sometimes at work I listen to podcasts of This American Life storytelling on public radio. Every week they select a theme, and then share a few true stories that discuss that theme from different perspectives. I was listened to today’s podcast, (which is actually a rebroadcast from 2002,) and the theme was about people who are “different” and at what point they realized they were different. The host, Ira Glass, was talking with a mom and her then 7 year old son.

Her son was born with a mental disorder that presented as very angry, scary and violent episodes when he was just a toddler. Discussing her son’s behavior, she described how at 3 years old he’d talk about death and dying a lot. He’d draw pictures of black holes and talk about falling into them. She talked about specific acts of violence he’d engaged in, and the remorse and lack of understanding of his own behavior that quickly followed. To hear his mother describe his violent behavior and destructive mental state was at once shocking and heartbreaking. And then they started him on a medication, and within two days they saw a difference. By five days, he was a different child. He stopped talking about death and stopped trying to hurt small animals and talking about black holes, and instead started drawing pictures of rainbows and hearts. It was when his mother described this change that I found myself getting all choked up. Have a listen:

[youtube_sc url=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bIsSKGj-4bo”]

“…All those hearts and rainbows and bunnies that he talks about all the time, it’s not because he’s silly, It’s because he’s been through [more] pain and powerlessness…. He made an informed decision that he’s gonna be happy with the good parts of life and he’s gonna spread them around… It all came out of something very hard”

Hear the full episode here

He found his Muchness— things around him that make him feel happy and grateful for the joyful little things in life. Have you found yours?