I’ve been in denial. At least “publicly” I’ve been unable to admit that I have lost my muchness. It’s true. It’s why I haven’t posted here. I feel like as the “self proclaimed queen of muchness” I have to be the picture of sunlight and positivity all the time. But this morning I had a moment where the most obvious flaw in my thinking revealed itself. I named this project and ultimately my website “Finding My Muchness.” I didn’t name it “Found my Muchness” because I know that the quest for Muchness, and ultimately living a life that is guided and filled with it is a process. it ebbs and flows. It is the beacon that I use to guide me towards making choices that will create a balanced, happy life for me and my family. And that doesn’t happen overnight. But I am an impatient, fast paced new yorker and I want it to.
Folks. I need to find my muchness. I need to fill my life with it again. And not just the sparky on the outside kind. The other kind. The kind that comes from the inside.
Tova’s Blog
Inspiration on a Valentines Day
I am a toy designer. Not currently. Currently I design other stuff, but like a lawyer who went to law school but doesn’t practice law is still a lawyer, I am still a toy designer. I have my degree in Toy Design from the Fashion Institute of Technology. I got that degree at some point shortly before the turn of the century. How old does that make me sound? About as old as I felt at the Toy Design Alumni event I went to today at FIT.
I was reminded of the creative energy that lived like a cloak all around us in those days. The intensity with which we immersed ourselves in our work- positive that we were going to make a tremendous impact on the world, have careers doing whatever we wanted. Being allowed- no- encouraged….no- FORCED to think as creatively and fantastically outside the box as we were capable of doing…. pushing ourselves harder than we thought we were capable of working, and feeling like it meant something- what a muchtastic time that was. Made me want to go back and take the whole program all over again.
So, I no longer work in the Toy Industry, and went to this event alone, knowing I’d know very few people there. I suppose I technically went to “network” but that wasn’t really it. I went because I wanted to be inspired. I wanted to get outside my comfort zone and remind myself what is going on beyond the walls of my house, my office, and the bus ride that shuttles me between the two. I went because the founder of the program, Judy Ellis, created it 21 years ago as the first Toy Design Degree program in the country and that is an inspirational testament to the power of what you can do when you put your mind to it. There is a mantra she brought to us as students, and I remember it clearly: “Leap and the net will appear.” It is one I often think of when I am at a crossroads- afraid of the challenges and risks that lie before me, but unable to stand on the ledge, insecure and afraid any longer. I wanted to see her and thank her for the gift she gave me of knowing that I am capable of more than I may give myself credit for.
But I didn’t really know how to say it.
Especially since I am currently feeling like I am on the ledge, feeling fearful and insecure, looking as hard as I can for that net before I leap… and not yet willing to leap and trust that it will, in fact, appear.
I’ll get there. I’ll leap.
In the meantime, I think I’m gonna send Judy a Muchness Band with her Mantra on the inside. Because spreading The Muchness is My Muchness and I know she’ll like it.
_____
OK- so, there’s more. So, they redid the whole Toy Design space since I was a student and the place is so friggin Muchtastic.
There is a Fabric library for making stuffed animals that is encased in a glass wall, meticulously organized by gradient color:
There are crazy oval windows between the rooms that just lend a playfulness to the whole space:
There is a wall of toys designed by past alumni in a lounge that is connected to the main room- Oh, how I would have loved to chill in there on nights when we worked to dawn.
But, for me, best of all, there was a fantastic LED lighted ceiling that changed color. Just like my muchtastic wall at home. It kind of felt poetic to me- that the place that helped me discover my own creative inspiration has found inspiration in the same way that I now find it every day. Here’s a little video of it in action!
Amazing.
Wanna learn more about the Toy Program at FIT? Check It Out!
Valentines Day Muchness!
It’s Valentine’s Day!!
Last year, when Valentine’s Day rolled around, I didn’t really pay much attention. Ya know why? Because I didn’t really care. We’re not big into that stuff in our house so it never really seemed important. But then, Molly came home from school with a bag full of Valentines treats from the other kids and I felt like the biggest loser of a mom ever. So this year, when they announced the Valentines Day dance I’d like to tell you I ran out and picked the perfect little gifts and planned a whole special thing. But I didn’t. I pretty much ignored it.
But today, as I was getting ready to pick up the girls from Daycare I started to feel bad. So I looped the car around, ran into CVS and grabbed some pink stuff.
After Elie came home, I instructed him to give Liat a bath so she wouldn’t try to grab at everything and Me and Molly got to work.
We cut the stickers into strips:
Molly carefully selected the correct number and color of kisses:
Then she started signing the name tags I made (which are really extra pieces of Muchness Band Wish Strip Book covers)
After writing her name 10 or 12 times, she started to get creative with it! See the smiles on each letter? Love this girl!!
Every kid got an eraser:
and it all went into little treat bags I just happened to have in the basement with my craft stuff. Doesn’t everyone have those little baggies just hanging around??
TA-DA!!
Then, after Molly was in bed I remembered I have these little clips that were practically free because they were all broken:
1 glue gun and 5 minutes later:
The Muchiest Valentines Day packets EVER!!!
Are You Doing anything extra Muchtastic for Valentines Day??
The History of glitter- This video is Muchness squared!
“Those who wear it obviously carry a great deal of confidence. While glitter may seem kind of silly and extreme, it represents something very natural, the reflection of light.”
-Stephan Kanlian, Chair FIT Masters Program. (My new favorite person of the week!)
“Glitter generally makes people happy- I mean, just to look at it.”
-Roger Ertle, VP Marketing, GLITTEREX
WHERE HAVE I BEEN???
I have been spending SO MUCH TIME working on a TTTS awareness initative with some other TTTS parents… It has been simultaniously lifting my spiirits and eating up my time and keeping me from the Muchness, which kinda crushes my spirits. 🙁 So I apologize for my absence. Please know that I have programmer working on wonderful, exciting upgrades for this site, and I am doing something good that I believe in very strongly.
I hope you will stick around and keep reading while I learn how to balance just a little bit better. Imbalance is the anti-muchness. I’m trying to keep a positive outlook….
xox, Tova
I had to share these fish- Amazing Art
all photos by Dominic Alves (installation view at ICN Gallery)
The goldfish, writes Fukahori, was my salvation…
The Super-cool Badass Power of Muchness.
Once upon a place in a time called “my 20’s” I was bad-ass. At least in my mind I was. Bad-ass in that super-cool way 20 somethings sometimes think they are. I was working on my own handbag business and many of my friends were working on their own super-cool businesses and we were sure we were gonna take over the world with our super-cool bad-assness.
One of my friends had a website that sold jewish themed, bad-ass tchotchkas and gifts.
I saw this t-shirt and decided it was meant for me:
(Scratching your Head? What’s CHUTZPAH? Here’s what it means.)
I wore it a lot, usually layered under other stuff. And then, in 2007 I got pregnant with Molly. I physically couldn’t fit into this tank top for a year and a half. Emotionally, I couldn’t fit into it for much longer than that. Instead, physically and emotionally I fit into this:
This past weekend I found myself in an email exchange that required me to really, truly tap into my Chutzpah. In a positive, productive and proactive way.
I was emailing about something that I believe in so strongly, and I believe affects so many mothers like me- mothers that have lost children to TTTS. I felt proud that I have found my voice and found my strength to use it, to say what I believe needs to be said. To say it in a firm but respectful way. To say it for those not in a position or not currently strong enough to say it themselves.
Before I crawled into bed last night I dug deep into my “clothes I love but will likely never fit into again” drawer and pulled it out. Not only does it fit again, but on days when I’m not bloated, I think I’ll actually find myself wearing it. Perhaps I should pull out the bedazzler and muchify it even more!! 🙂
