On the second day of school- a day after blogging the joys of sending the kids back to school, my kid is sent home with the worst case of lice I’ve ever seen. Honestly. I thought it would be one or two little effers but those creepy disgusting things had not only shown up and moved in, they’d set up their own friggin’ zip code. They were having dance parties in the evening and sitting confidently around all the disgusting little eggs they’d arranged in a lovely polka dot pattern on her scalp – (a scalp I have recently come to learn also enjoys a slightly higher than average glitter allotment than most 6 year old scalps. Go figure.) just waiting for alllllll their lil’ baby lice to hatch and fill the empty bunks in their trailer homes.
I immediately called my super dear friend and first cousin, L’via “The Lice Queen” Weisinger.
She emailed me a copy of her famous ebook
(It ain’t much to look at (yet) (I’m eventually gonna muchify it for her) but the brilliant info inside will keep you sane in the face of a torturous battle with disgusting little bugs that live in your head. —not the ones that create negative self-talk and comparisonitis- I mean the REAL bugs…. I’m guessing you already knew that.)
I’ve been posted about this lice excitement a few times on social media and gotten so much well-meaning advice that doesn’t come CLOSE to the brilliant, non-toxic and totally manageable lice clearing and prevention process that L’via created and has been using for at almost two decades on thousands of kids all around NY and NJ. (Kids, I might add, who come and go to Israel a lot- a lovely place well known for many things, one of which is it’s wonderful hospitality to these little critters— in case you wondered why “lice ladies” always seem to be jewish, there’s your answer to that little trivia question.)
Anyway, to thank her for helping me, I am posting her book for sale here. Because her site was hacked and she hasn’t had the time to fix it. SO, if you have lice and need a foolproof, no poison way to get rid of them, this is what you are looking for.
She uses NO CHEMICALS.
NO EXPENSIVE DRUGS.
And my kid didn’t even cry once. …Though I did catch a couple of those lice wiping away some stray tears before dropping dead.
Plus, her writing style is fun and engaging, sorta like someone else you might know that she’s related to. (wink wink)
And despite all my bitching and moaning, I swear it will save you tons of headaches from trying all the other, less effective techniques. As soon as you pay the paypal page will redirect you to an instant download page for the book. There is also a secret password in the “message to seller” box so look out for that!
And just for fun, this was me and my girls last night.
We treated all our heads prophylacticaly. (My new favorite word) and it’s a good thing to, because, wait for it, I ended up finding two little fuckers in my head. And while I never (always) use the F word lightly, I only found TWO, and they were ON TOP OF EACH OTHER!!! I’m pretty sure I caught them in the act and thus avoided them laying their disgusting little eggs on my pristine scalp.
It’s like I always (never) say “When dealing with prophylactics, you can never be too careful.”
(there are so many more jokes running through my head right now but I will retain some dignity and keep them to myself.)
(PS- If you live near by and end up using her services in person, she’ll refund the cost of the book. Though if you live far away you may just wanna travel to meet her ‘cuz she’s THAT cool. Even if you don’t have lice.)