Stuck at broken

Last week I went to an event hosted by a friend called “Women and Wisdom”. The empowerment evening was really just a celebration of amazing women of the past and present, with a bit of a nod to the future.
To that end, a couple of slides into the nights presentation a picture of my daughters popped on the screen. My friend, Elizabeth, asked me to stand up and take “ownership” of the two little girls. I couldn’t have been prouder.
Now, Elizabeth had mentioned something about me speaking at this event but honestly, I wasn’t totally sure what that would entail, or even if I understood her correctly.
I prepared nothing.
I probably should’ve done a better job reading my emails because it was all explained in there…. But I didn’t.
Towards the end of the presentation she asked a bunch of us to come to the front. A slide popped up with pictures of a bunch of us from the audience. I was on it.
“Oh,” I thought, “I guess this must be it.” Eeeek.
Everyone came up with a piece of paper with a word written on it. I was empty handed. (Dammit tova!! Read your emails!!!)
Elizabeth was explaining that we’d each picked one word to describe what we believe in when it comes to women changing the world.
I grabbed a pen and paper and wrote out MUCHNESS and before I had time to think, I found myself in front of the mic.
Now, before a couple of years ago, I’d never spoken in public in my life. I’d have passed out from fear. Now I’ve got a little experience under my belt and what I’ve learned is that the most important thing is to speak from the heart. When I do, the fear melts away.
And the words I heard myself say that day, I wasn’t sure where they came from, but I wanted to share them with you.
First, I started with a joke.
“I chose the word Muchness, in part, because I’ve trademarked it.”
This was an entrepreneurial crowd.
They laughed.
Then I explained what it means… “I used to be much muchier, but then I lost my Muchness.
When I lost my twins, it broke me. Broke me in a way I never knew you could break. I felt like a million little pieces just shattered all across the floor.
We all have things in life that break us. All of us, at some point, are broken pieces shattered on the floor.
But the beautiful thing about being broken is that ultimately, those pieces are going to start forming back together… And you get the CHOICE to decide how that is going to look.”
As your pieces start glueing themselves back together, how are your pieces going to look?
Because they can be rebuilt stronger than the original.
And you can use glitter glue.


Love & Muchness, Tova

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