I dyed my hair Pink. Because. I am an adult, and I can do what I wanna do.

“It’s only hair!!”

That’s what I said to my mom when I dyed it rainbow streaked in 11th grade. Thank god my mother allowed me to explore my creative side. If it had been stifled it most surely would have found it’s way out of me in much more destructive ways than Muchy hair before Muchy was a (not officially sanctioned scrabble) word.

I gave the pre-game dye story here.

Pretty much: Bleach (Twice) (yes, that’s a rusty hammer. In the bathroom. Ask me why. I dare you.)

Not blond enough!

Added the pink anyway:

The results!


The actual after: Eeeek- too pink:

So, I RECOLORED the top section BACK to my natural Brown color:

(That’s a still shot from the video I made of the event. Me holding the box. Fascinating.)

And finally…. THE RESULTS!!!!

My not so muchy bathroom wall!!!!

(Paying a pro to do my hair woulda been cheaper than paying to have my bathroom repainted. Just Sayin’.)

But really now, in the end I was happy with the results, And here’s a pic from New Years Eve!


They say if you dress Muchy on New Years eve you’re practically guaranteed a Muchy year! Since this is the first year I was actually awake and out of my house on New Years since sometime in the late 90’s, I hope ‘they’re’ right!

Here’s me doing my best unintentional impression of a muchfied Soleil Moon Frye (That’s Punky Brewster to you kids born in the late 80’s) Maybe if I’m feeling gutsy, I’ll send her a link. Click her name there- the pic is oddly similar)

GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE! PUSH YOURSELF! Wear something Muchy!!! You’ll feel proud, confident and happy! You’ll send out good vibes and they’ll come back to you in spades!!!! The power of Muchness is UNSTOPPABLE!!!


BTM VS. ATM: Winter Boots

Today is the first day of snow:

That’s our backyard. Apparently we didn’t put away the spring toys early enough. Who knew it would snow before November. Pretty depressing.

This morning I took Molly on a date. We went for coffee and bagels together. For the first time since last year I put on my snow boots and winter coat. Both were new purchases last winter, when I felt my heavy duty boots and heavy brown winter coat were just weighing me down. I put them on and was transported back to my mindset when I bought them last year- actively making the decision to purge from my life anything that dragged me down.

I upgraded my old heavy boots for these awesome sexy snow boots. 

These boots helped me muchify my mindset towards the idea of a snowstorm, making the idea of snow somewhat appealing. Instead of “uuuuuuuch- I can’t believe it’s snowing again…. there is NOTHING good about the snow”, now it was an opportunity to wear my awesome new boots!! See that? Sure, they’re just boots, but it helped me invent a reason not to feel so blaaaaaah.

PS: You may wonder how a person can walk throughout the snow in those spiked heels, but it’s easy. Those heels just dig right into the snow and keep me standing upright! No problem!! 🙂

MUCHNESS MEALS- Subject: Mashed Potatoes

Originally Posted by TOVA on OCTOBER 10, 2011 / Recreated following The Great Server Crash of 2011

Molly is a picky eater. What? Almost all three and half year olds are picky eaters? Well, good for them. Molly, if she knew how picky a standard picky eater was, she’d be twice as picky. On purpose. Just to test what would happen. Like most kids, she’ll eat yogurt (but only from the sippy cup, mixed with milk – no- not THAT sippy cup, the pink one. With the other lid. NO! TheOTHER lid!!) and she’ll eat macaroni and cheese (except that piece- NO!THAT PIECE!!! the one that looks hard and crispy after it was baked!) and she’ll eat string cheese (NO! I want to open it!!) and she’ll eat chicken  (except that piece- NO! THAT PIECE!!! the one that looks hard and crispy after it was baked!) and that’s about it. Oh, wait. She eats lox. As in, pickled, smoked, greasy disgusting lox. She’ll just devour that stuff like it’s ice cream. Oh, she’ll also eat ice cream.

Fruit and veggies? No how. No way. I don’t know how she got it in her head that she hates fruit. I mean ANY fruit, except bananas. No berries. No melon. No apples, No grapes. No oranges, No watermelon. No mango (unless it’s dried. and hard and crispy. Go figure.)

And Veggies? Maybe corn. Elie can coax her into eating a couple of peas every now and then. And sweet potato soup (that’s not even a veggie- but it’s the closest we get)

I had a brainstorm. I’m gonna Muchify Mashed potatoes!!! This is NOT about getting her to eat potatoes. It is about getting her to eat the secret muchifier.

The ingredients:

PotatoesBeets. (GOOD FOR YOU AND FUCHSIA TOO!!!) and some boxed veggie broth.

Those fella’s stain like nobodies business.

peel ‘em

Add salt to the boiling water. Oh? Did I forget to mention that? Boil water. You’re making mashed potatoes. Dur. Oh, and get the kid involved. They like that.

Oh. Chop those suckers into pieces before dumping them into the water. Cut the beets smaller than the potatoes. They like to take their sweet time waiting to get soft.

I decided to dump an ear of corn in my pot. Because, ya know, it was there. I thought maybe the corn would turn pink too!

I yiyi!!! That corn’s not pink!!!

…but it sure is tasty!!

Time to mash the potatoes and beets! The moment of truth!!!

I’m thinking, perhaps, disaster. The potatoes were yellow, not white. The sign at the supermarket said they were good for mashing. I’m no expert. I listen to the signs at the supermarket. Next time I’ll go with the ones they said were good for baking. Those looked white. Besides, what do the signs at the supermarket know? They can’t tell the difference between all those other green leafy things either. Need parsley, come home with cilantro. Need cilantro, come home with dill. Need dill, come home with curly parsley. Wait. Is that just me? Whatever. Moving right along…  So, this stuff I’m mashing, is this what they use on CSI when someone’s guts explode? Oh, no- it looks just like that disgusting bloody fat they suck out of people’s thighs when they get liposuction. On TV. For real. Yick. So, it seems, beets turn red when you cook them. Lesson learned.

meanwhile, across the room … “hello? hello? is someone there???” Why isn’t anyone answering me???”

When fully mixed, they start to resemble cherry snow cones. With bits of brain mixed in. This might not work. Not even in the pink princess bowl.

But wait! What’s this!?! SHE LIKES IT!!! She doesn’t think it looks like brains!!! It’s pink! It’s Muchtastic! It tastes like plain old mashed potatoes with the healing powers of beets!! WooooHoooo! SUCCESS!!!!

Next time, maybe I’ll add HOMEMADE GLITTER to sprinkle on top!

PS- When it cools, it actually turns back to fuchsia again! That makes it Magic color changing Muchy Mashed Potatoes!!! Yahoooo!

****Please note, The Beet Growers Association of America has not provided me with any compensation for writing this post. In case you were worried myopinions were paid for. I wish.****

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Heather October 10, 2011 at 5:13 pm

Ok so for all of ten seconds I thought The muchness queen is a super genius like Wiley Coyote bc while I have seen Jessica Seinfelds deceptively Delicious cookbook NONE of her recipes made things PINK which is typically the picky princess answer to my prayers (if I prayed of course). So, I said Skylar “look…pink princess potatoes” and she looked and I said “should we make those tomorrow?” she said YES! but then….a pause…..a look…..and then….”mama that’s DOG FOOD!”

Sigh. Molly may be picky but girl she’s got a compadre that will give her a run for her money down here. ;0)



Tova October 11, 2011 at 11:43 am

In real life, they’d look nothing like dog food. They cooled to a really pretty color. I also don’t put milk in them, though if I did they’d probably be an even prettier color. :)
And the glitter salt- I mean, can’t beat that!!


Heather October 10, 2011 at 5:15 pm

P.s. It may have something to do with Amos getting a supplement that has mashed pumpkin as it’s base. Good luck with pumpkin pie in this household huh? Lol.


Sara October 10, 2011 at 7:44 pm

I’m still stuck on the fact that Liat ate corn, and from a cob!!! I’m terrified that G is going to choke on a mashed banana.

Love the new header.



Tova October 11, 2011 at 11:41 am

she cant get any kernals off- and even if she did, she can’t choke on em. I cut some of the kernals off, theyre on the tray, and then she sucks the juice from the cob. :)


JenM October 11, 2011 at 6:14 pm

Joshua does corn on the cob all the time! He loves it. He started around 12 or 13 months when he finally got his top teeth in and could get the kernels off. it keeps him busy for almost all of dinner.


Tine October 10, 2011 at 11:17 pm

Fun post!!! I love the thinking, the logic, the amount of planning it takes to outwit a 3 year old :-) Mine has suddenly decided that he hates spaghetti. WTH? Spaghetti??? What kid hates spaghetti??? Unfortunately, there’s no disguising it, and I’m now convinced it’s the tomato sauce…I made chicken marsala over wheat spaghetti…LOVED IT.

I love the story in this, with the pics and the humour! Whoever would have thought of Muchtastic potatoes? Besides you I mean? LOL


Tine October 10, 2011 at 11:18 pm

P/S: Your girls are SO cute…they should really meet my boys someday ;)


Tova October 11, 2011 at 11:39 am

‘like’ :)


Tova October 11, 2011 at 11:46 am

I had the idea when I was in wholefoods and bought some lunch from their buffet area. I had some mashed potatoes and beet salad and then went to pay and by the time I got to the booth to eat, opened my box of foor, a large area of potatoes was a gorgeous shade of magenta. Now I’m thin king about what other foods I could mix with beets (which are, in large part, just sweet and flavorless….)


BTM vs. ATM (Before The Muchness Vs.After The Muchness)

Originally posted by Tova September 23. 2011 / Reposted after The Great Server Crash of 2011

As I mentioned last night, I went to bed feeling fine and enjoying that moment while I had it. Because I woke up feeling not so fine. The 23rd. What a shitty day that was. That was the last day either of my girls lived inside  of me. The day we said goodbye to Sunshine too. I look at the little ticker in the corner of this page: 1 year, 11 month, 4 weeks, 1 day. That’s lots of words. In two days, it will just say “2 years”…

I opened my iphoto this morning to go pull some pics of my newest Muchness bands to get them ready to put on the site and while scrolling through my photo library I got pulled into pictures of Elie’s 40th birthday party. It was in November of 2009. Less than 8 weeks after our loss. I’d decided that I couldn’t let his birthday pass without something and it was an excuse to create some joy and celebrate the things we did have. It was on a  sunday night. It was supposed to be a surprise. We spent the day getting massages at a fancy spa near me. My boss had given me a very generous gift certificate after we lost the babies. It was a nice day. I remember the women who gave me the massage was chatty (for a masseuse) and somehow I mentioned that I was there as a gift because I’d lost identical twins recently. She told me she had a twin sister. I asked if they were identical. She replied “we used to be, but then my sister got fat.”   …something about her stupidity struck me even more than her callousness.

But anyway, that’s not the point. We came home from the massage and our house was filled with friends and family. I have NEVER seen such a turn out to a party in my life. Nearly everyone who was invited made the effort to be there, and it was appreciated. I thought at the time it was pity. “Awww, poor Tova and Elie, after all they’ve been through, the least we could do is show up at this party they are hosting at a not terribly convenient time.” And maybe it was pity. It’s OK. I was glad they were there and I think they were glad to have something they could do to show support.

Oy! Again, Not the point!!! The point is, I saw this picture in my iphoto. This one and a few others from that day.

I looked at my eyes, my smile, Elie’s eyes. even Molly’s, and I started to shake, and then cry. That party, that was a good day. Maybe the first good day since the loss. But there is so, so much sadness there. so much grief. so much pain, hidden behind that smile and those eyes. I used to look at these pictures and think “These are bad pictures, I don’t look so good” but now I see it wasn’t the pictures, and it wasn’t how I ‘looked’ …. it was everything else.

I needed to get this out before I can get done the 100 things I have to do today. But I want to end on a happier note. Here is a picture I absolutely LOVE from this past summer. This picture is joy. With my sun and daisy necklace, my sparkly muchness band. Our honest smiles that go deep. It’s Muchness. It’s my family.

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Jess September 23, 2011 at 11:16 am

Sending you love, Tova. I’m glad you have come so far….


judi September 23, 2011 at 11:29 am

you have a wonderful way with words, Tova. I felt the sadness and the joy all smushed together. much love from someone who “gets it”…


Yvette September 23, 2011 at 2:10 pm

Beautiful family! Beautiful MUCHNESS!


Jen September 23, 2011 at 2:51 pm

Tova, I am thinking about you today as you think about your little girls. What a wonderful way to honor them — with your words and, of course, this site!
I can see/feel the joy and light in the second picture.

Btw, how could it escape me that we share a day *your girls’ angel day and my girl’s edd*?


Tova September 23, 2011 at 11:09 pm

Jen- I didn’t know that either. Or maybe at the beginning of this journey I did? What a long, strange trip it’s….. continues to be… :)


Julie September 23, 2011 at 3:20 pm

Hi Tova.
I didn’t realize that our dates were so close…I’m glad your rainbow joined you the next year..I had a second loss the year after, but my rainbow has finally come! Wish I had known last year about the Muchness movement. :0)
L’shana Tova!

Julie (another woman who gets it…)


Tova September 23, 2011 at 11:07 pm

Julie- you know about it now! Even I didn’t know about it last year!!! Welcome to our little corner of the internet and congrats on your rainbow!


BTM vs. ATM- Rainy Day Rain Boots

So, this isn’t a True BTM vs. ATM because both pictures were taken today, but it is demonstrative of the BTM vs. ATM idea.
(For those of you not in the know BTM= Before The Muchness, vs. ATM=After The Muchness. …work with me people)

I thought when I bought these rainboots that the cheerful turquoise color would perk up rainy days. But, I was wrong.

BTM... I'll bet you thought this was the ATM, right?


But, they are very flat and I feel like I klunk around really goofily when I wear them.

So today, on this dreary rainy tuesday, I dug deeeeep into my sock drawer and found a pair of brand new, unopened socks that have been hanging out at the bottom of the drawer since sometime in 2005. They were waiting for me. Waiting until I found my Muchness…

ATM! ...and waiting until flourescent pink came back in style yet again.


I’m introducing a new Segment here on FindingMyMuchness.com

BTM vs. ATM Before The Muchness vs. After The Muchness

I’ve found that I’ve upgraded a lot of the little details in my life since I started on this journey of Finding My Muchness. They are things I wouldn’t have thought mattered much before, but turns out, sometimes the best place to look for your Muchness is in the little things.

So in  the spirit of that, I introduce to you BTM vs. ATM; Coat hooks.

They are functional. They are sold at all over the place. They get covered with coats. In the case of coat hooks, does Muchness really matter?



Coathooks, BTM


Coathooks, ATM

I couldn’t pick just one style. And then I realized, um, I don’t have to!!!