Category: TOVAS BLOG

TOVA’S MUCHNESS PIC OF THE DAY

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Originally posted by TOVA on SEPTEMBER 19, 2011 / Reposted after The Great Server Crash of ’11

We often hear that there is no word for a parent that loses a child. A child that loses a parent? Orphan. A woman that loses her husband? Widow. But a parent that loses a child? Best they’ve come up with in the english language is the term babyloss mom / dad / parent. When I type babyloss I get little red dotted line under it because my computer thinks there must be an error. There is an error. It’s called babyloss and it’s a problem far bigger than my computer can solve with a spellcheck button.

Tonight I learned that there is a word for it. A word for a woman that loses a child. Two years I have been a babyloss mom. And I never knew there was a word for it. The word is Mishakayla. It is hebrew. The  hebrew language has a pre-existing word for us. It’s an acknowledgement of our status. I like it.

I also like that today my factory gave me a whoooole bunch of new Muchness bands that I’d been waiting for!!! New colors!! New prints!!! New Causes!!! I’m working on some stuff on www.FindingYourMuchness.com and as soon as it’s ready, I’m gonna have a MAJOR re-launch event!!! Stay tuned!!

Mishakayla written in Muchness Bands. Just seemed kinda appropriate!

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

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Tine September 20, 2011 at 12:47 am

I love it! And I can’t wait to order one icon_smile.gif
And really, how wonderful that there is a word for us icon_smile.gif

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Tova September 20, 2011 at 8:17 pm

Tine- you can order one- I’ll be sending out a few on Friday so if u make it in under the buzzer….. icon_smile.gif

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JenM September 20, 2011 at 9:13 am

One thing that I found is that there’s a special word for a woman who has given birth to twins- gemellipara. I like it because it doesn’t say anything about parenting twins, and it makes me feel special because no one can argue with the fact that I have given birth to twins.

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Tova September 20, 2011 at 2:31 pm

Wow- I never knew that. I love it!!! That english word might be more difficult to pronounce than the hebrew one! haha

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Heather September 20, 2011 at 10:14 am

Oh i love this….i have always stumbled on the word babyloss for the reasons you posted. is this pronounced Mish-uh-kay-lah or Mish-uh-kai-luh? great post. great use of the muchness bands. xoxo

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Tova September 20, 2011 at 2:29 pm

Heather- The first one… icon_smile.gif I was planning to do this with the word MUCHNESS for a Muchness Madness Post…I just didn’t have enough bands in stock. Now I can do it! icon_smile.gif

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LellowOne September 20, 2011 at 3:24 pm

Ilove all the colors and I love that word. It sounds soft and stronger the same time. Can’t wait to order mine!

TOVAS Muchness pic of the day

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Feeling much muchier today than I was yesterday!
Yay sparkly leggings and shoelaces!!!

And I think last night I decided I need a pair of leather pants. Nothing says “bad mood- don’t you dare mess with me today!” like a pair of leather pants can. I think if I could fund (typo- and I’m keeping it. ) a pair that fit well and are comfortable, I’d wear them all winter.
That’s something you have to try on which means I’d have to find them in person, not online. And, I want them to be metallic leather. What’re the chances of finding that??

I guess I’ll just be Muchness hunting this weekend…

Heading to Asia

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…I wish. As we head into fall I feel compelled to share that I have nothing to wear. Now, I don’t want to sound materialistic (though I am) and I do have a closet full of pieces of fabric sewn into various types of apparel, but overall, I have nothing to wear. In fact, I think it’s time to do a much needed closet clean out so I can see how little I have to wear.
Because for the last three winters, I’ve been pregnant. Or postpartum. Or trying to get pregnant. Or all three at the same time.
What I haven’t been is Muchy. But more importantly, (i think- for the purposes of clothes shopping) what I haven’t been is my actual size.
All summer I wore 2 pairs of shorts and a handful of Muchy tops and shoes. Eventually I stopped photographing my daily Muchness because if I had to keep that up and keep it interesting I would have gone broke.
So now, as the weather turns to crap and I look through my closet for something Muchy to wear, I’m coming up short. I’ve got a few things I bought at the end of last spring, when I started the Muchness, but one sequin jacket and a pair of leggings will only take me so far.
Here’s the problem. I can not find Muchness for fall.
According to Asian fashion trends, sequins and shine should be everywhere for fall. But according to my NY usual Muchness finding success stores- nada. Target was, without question, the most disappointing spot of all.
Not ONE piece of Muchness in their whole women’s apparel section!!!! Even more disappointing, as I scanned the section EVERYTHING was bland and depressing. Dreary grays. Muddy browns. Muted blues. Blah blah and more blah. It- with no exaggeration- gave me a stomach ache.
I told Elie last night that I am gonna be going Muchness hunting. I will not spend too much money. I will not splurge on something I’ll wear twice. And I will not buy anything unless it is truly, throughly happy-making Muchness. Because truthfully, I’m feeling kinda down. And nothing can immediately fix a problem like that as well as a colorful, sexy, sparkly, comfortable pair of platforms can.
(for the record, today I’m wearing a black hoody and flats to work for the first time in six months. It only reenforces what a crap magnet I feel like. Between that, the rain, the fact that I am standing on a bus stuck in standstill traffic- damn. It almost feels as crappy as 2009. This is a very slippery slope.) I’m already 45 minutes late for work. I may just swing by one of my other Muchness hunting spots on the way to the office and cross my fingers they have something fuschia and happy. And cheap.

What I want to feel like today

 

What I do feel like today.

Labor Day Muchness for the Muchkins

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Sarah, of the challenge has been babysitting my girls during their week off from school. They’ve been having such am amazing time with her making Muchy crafty fun that Elie and I decided to have her come today so we could get out and work on Muchness together!
Check out Molly, the Muchness monster from last week!!
Can’t wait to see what we come home to today!

Where is the Muchness?

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I haven’t written too much lately. It’s not that I have nothing to write about, it’s that I feel a little overwhelmed. There is so much I want to do – so many places I want to take The Muchness Movement, and so little time in which to do it. Today is September 2nd. 3rd. It’s 12:15 in the morning. I’d been thinking about this post for a few days, and planned to post it in September 1st. September. That’s the month. If you check out the little ticker in the left hand corner, It’s getting close. Just 22 days away. 22 days and it will be two years since we said goodbye to Sunshine & Daisy. Two years since I (unknowingly) said goodbye to my old life and started building the one I have now. I still miss them. I’ll always miss them. My arms still ache to hold them. I still wonder what they would have looked like. What they would have smelled like. How it would have felt to have two identical looking babies look up at me, smiling.

I only see them in my mind as babies. I know some babyloss moms are different. They envision what their baby may have looked like as they got older. I don’t know. Maybe I do that too. I look at babies that are close to their age but I don’t imagine them that way. They’d have been premies. They’d have been smaller. There are just too many unknowns for me to make an accurate picture in my mind, so I avoid doing it.

I realized that I started this Muchness project in April. The twins were conceived in April. They lived for almost 24 weeks inside me. And here we are, three weeks away. Once I realized what The Muchness was capable of, I made it my personal goal to grow this project to really huge proportions by September 25th. I regret that I have not been as single-minded and focused as I wanted to be, and now the anniversary is looming and I’m feeling overwhelmed by all I want to do.

So, I’ve decided to take my to-do list ‘public’ and post it on this site. If there is one thing I’ve learned in the last 2 years…. well, then that would be pretty sad because I’ve learned about a million things I never knew (back when I thought I was so smart, ironically) Anyhow, I know that when I put my feelings out there, it helps me move through them. When I share them with others, it helps me to stop swallowing them whole because they can just choke you. So, I’ve made a list. I’ve started a list. I’m even having a hard time finishing the list, let alone the things on it. Fabulous.

22 days to make a dent in the list and enlarge the Muchness Movement footprint. Molly and Liat are amazing little girls who will undoubtedly make their mark on this world. I want to pass on to them the inspiration and strength that their sisters taught me. That is Sunshine & Daisy’s gift to our family, and to any other individual or family that is affected by The Muchness. Their bodies may not have lived outside my body but their spirit does. I believe it is my responsibility to make this their legacy. God, that sounds so melodramatic. I almost deleted it. But I didn’t. Because I believe it. (and besides, The Muchy Tova is nothing if not dramatic 😉 )

September 1st, 2009. Our ultrasound tech, Sureka, said the babies were looking really good that day, so against standard protocol, she pulled out the 3-D ultrasound wand and took some pictures for us of our beautiful, healthy, identical looking babies. What a gift those pictures were then. And even more so now.

Sunshine & Daisy. Forever Missed & Always In Our Hearts.

 

READER SUBMISSION!!!

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My aunt Nina is a world traveler, seeing our planet by way of cruise ship. What a joy that would be (for someone who never gets motion sickness…. 🙂
Nina writes:

I was in Rio on a cruise about 6 months ago.. and we were wandering
the designer shops on the fashionable street (equivalent to Madison
Ave) and came across this bag designer.. I snapped this thinking of
you…

—
I think these are awesome. Quirky and unique, those bags with the scenes are magnificent.
Thanks for sharing!!!!

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Artist:
http://www.gilsonmartins.com.br/lojas.html

MUCHNESS in Action

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A few Days back April posted about how The Muchness Challenge has helped her find her voice, find the confidence to speak up when she knows something should be said and others just sit back and watch, and it made me remember a time, many years ago, when a pregnant woman on the subway was clearly in need of a seat but no one was standing to offer her one. (I was standing too, obviously)  In my head, I was yelling at these people “STAND UP! GIVE THIS PREGNANT WOMAN YOUR SEAT” but out of my mouth, not a sound was heard.

I wrote that if that situation presented itself today, I am quite certain I’d speak up without a moments hesitation.

And there it was. This morning. On the bus. I’d waited forever because service was limited (Thanks again Irene). The bus went along it’s way and I started writing in my notebook, oblivious to the world. At the last stop before getting on the highway, I heard the bus driver tell the potential passenger that there were no seats left, she’d have to stand. I looked up, glanced out the window and saw that the woman was wearing an infant in a carrier strapped to her chest. Without even a moment to think I stood up and called to the front of the bus – “She can have my seat!” — I didn’t even know I did it. I walked to the front of the bus to make sure the driver had heard me and she knew of my offer. Then she asked me if there was another seat for her toddler. And here’s where it got interesting…
I looked towards the back of the bus and saw what might have been an empty seat. But I couldn’t be sure. So I called out- loud “Are there any seats back there?” and I didn’t even care that I completely broke the sound barrier of silence. Nor did I care that no one answered me, rather a few just shuffled uncomfortably. Then a gentleman got up and offered his seat.
But then, the woman didn’t get on because her annoying friend wanted to wait for the next bus. So, I walked back to my seat, without an ounce of self-conciousness.

After sitting for a moment, when the bus started moving again, I realized what I’d done, and that my heart wasn’t thumping and my foot wasn’t tapping and I wasn’t at all concerned if people were annoyed that my actions had held the bus up for a minute or two.  And that, was an awesome Muchy feeling.

OH SO MUCHY!!!!

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So, shortly before we lost power, (Thanks again Irene!) I found myself inexplicably drawn to the television to watch the profound reality of two of TV’s most radiant reality stars, IceT & his delicate wife, Coco.

I know it sounds a little like I am judgmental, and well, in certain ways, I am. But mostly just because they are such characters that they, well, that they have a friggin’ reality show! But the truth is, of the little bit I saw of them on the episode I watched, I kinda liked them. They seem to have a really pleasant rapport with one another, and there is a certain genius, I believe, to using the media like the well oiled money machine it is, to line your pockets. It is why I will always secretly love The Spice Girls. (Every boy and every girl- Spice up your life!)  But, of course, all of this is weeeell besides the point.

The point is, I want her laptop cover.

...But I want mine to say MUCHNESS.

Encrusted with pink gradient crystals on every square milliliter!? PINK GRADIENT CRYSTALS???? Those are, without a doubt,  three of my most favorite words in the english language.

I can prove it to you. Check out the shoes I wore to my wedding:

SEE? Pink. Gradient. Crystals.

I didn’t even care about anything else when I married the love of my life.
Table linens? Peh.
Bridesmaids Dresses? Wear what you want.
Menu? Whatever, just no stinky cheese table.
My Dress? Not so important, as long as it highlights my waist and shoes.
Shoes?  16 hours of watching Law & Order SVU, late at night, while glueing rhinestones, one, by one, by one. 
….And it alllll comes together…